


The Waiting Place

by fallpoutboy



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Back by unpopular demand, Book Elements, Don’t read if you’re not going to comment, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fuck Or Die, Marriage of Convenience, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Season 4 divergence, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy, discussion of miscarriage, partially based off another fic, presumed miscarriage, sudden absurdity morphs into heavy angst, the smut is only in chapters 3 and 4, which was only natural tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:29:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23275225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallpoutboy/pseuds/fallpoutboy
Summary: When Brienne falls terribly ill with a obscure sickness one day after returning Jaime to King's Landing, it's up to him to save her, regardless of the method or cost.*diverges from show canon after 4x01
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 195
Kudos: 379





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just preface this by saying that this fic is partially based off KariAnn1222's Ron x Hermione fic of the same name (linked below) and she deserves all the credit for the initial premise of this story. If you haven't read that story and don't care to, you could probably guess from the tags what this story is about and what it entails. That is why I am publishing the first two chapters today, so I can lay it all out there. I don't want to offend anyone with the material of what I'm about to write so if you have an issue with this, please feel free to let me know in the comments so I can reevaluate it. So without further ado....

**Banner by the very talented RoNordmann!**

* * *

"I was wondering if I were to find you here."

Brienne quickly whirled around and stood from her bench when she saw Jaime standing behind her, garbed in full Kingsguard regalia. It was high noon in the gardens above the Red Keep's godswood, where she has come once again to observe Lady Sansa praying.

"This is the only place I'd ought to be, ser," Brienne replied and turned away from him, suddenly shy. Although neither of them acknowledged it, things had changed between them since Harrenhal and she couldn't handle the notion of her newfound feelings for him. "Why do you search for me? Does King Joffrey have need of me?"

"I was guarding Prince Tommen but Ser Boros Blunt relieved me for my free hour," Jaime explained. "You weren't with Lady Margaery and her grandmother or in your room so it was either here or the training yard."

"The training yards? So Ser Loras can falsely accuse me of a crime I would never commit again? No, thank you," Brienne stated solemnly, sensing him approach behind her. It had been a fortnight since they reached King’s Landing and Ser Loras viciously pounced on her with accusations of Renly’s murder in the courtyard. Jaime stepped in between them and implored him to stand down but Brienne knew to steer clear of him less it happen again.

"Staring at her all day won't fulfill your vow," Jaime sarcastically states after a quiet moment, his words inflaming a rise out of her.

"Oh, do not act like you're such a big help either," Brienne shot back, turning her head to finally meet his eye. "You behave as if it is not also your vow to uphold and keep."

Jaime didn't waver under her scrutiny. "As I've said before, King's Landing is the only safe place in Westeros for her, but where else would you have me take her? Winterfell was burnt to the ground by the ironborn and Riverrun was granted to Freys. She has a aunt in the Vale but I doubt Lysa Arryn would want the wife of Tyrion Lannister in her halls. I'd wager Lady Catelyn wouldn't want anymore harm to come to her only living child, so the Red Keep is where she shall stay put."

It irked her much his logic made sense, but it wasn't satisfying enough. "Would it be.... untoward if I inquired to a personal question, regarding your brothers marriage to Lady Sansa?"

"That depends on the question and if I'm privy enough to know the answer," Jaime said and squinted questioningly at her.

"Did they- is she...," Brienne stammered out lowly, "Has their marriage been consummated?"

Jaime shrugged then sighed. "My father ordered it done, but my defiant brother has so far been chaste in their union. She's still young and it was forced upon both of them. Tyrion may not look like it, but he has some honor, hard as that may be for you to believe."

"That's not what I-"

"It's fine, I already know," Jaime waved it off with his golden hand. "Hey, since you're apparently too shy to talk to another maiden like yourself, you could join me for supper with them. You could actually converse with Sansa whilst taking careful note of their modest marriage. He may be the Imp but he's a gracious host when given the opportunity."

Turning back to the godswood, Brienne pressed her lips together when she noticed Lady Sansa had disappeared from her spot whilst she was verbally engaged with Jaime. "I might have to take you up on that offer, seeing as she's just gone from under our noses."

"Really?" Jaime asked in slight awe, oblivious to the missing maiden below them.

"No, I couldn't intrude on your family dinner," Brienne truthfully answered and began to walk back to the castle.

"You wouldn't be intruding, wench," Jaime corrected, following her. "If anything, you'd help the situation. Lady Sansa is terribly timid so maybe you'd help bring her out of her shell while Tyrion and I talk. Explain yourself and subtly offer to protect her against harm and so on...."

"Please, I thought I told you to stop calling me that, it's actually improper," Brienne admonished and started climbing up the rocky stairway. "Maybe Lord Tyrion could invite me himself but I just couldn't impose like that."

"As my guest, you wouldn't be imposing."

"Your guest? Now that's really too mu-" Brienne's reply was cut short when she distractedly tripped over a large stone on the next stair. She flailed her arms out, trying to balance herself but it was too late. Her right foot bent the wrong way and she cried out and fell to the side however strong arms caught her before she fell.

"My lady? Are you alright?" Jaime crooned in her ear and Brienne realized through her pain that they were in a rather uncomfortably close position, not unlike how she held him in the baths of Harrenhal. 

"I'm fine, it's just my ankle," Brienne grit out. "You can let me go, it's just sprained."

"Nonsense, it could be broken. Here, lean on me and I'll take you to Grand Maester Pycelle," Jaime offered but she shook her head.

"No, Ser Jaime, I can walk fine," she left his grasp and unsuccessfully tried to walk up the next step. Jaime appeared by her side and wrapped a long arm around her waist. _He isn't taking no for an answer_ , she realized. Reluctantly, Brienne draped her left arm over his shoulders and pulled herself close. Ignoring the body heat exuding off the man next to her, she climbed the rest of the stairs painstakingly slow with his help. They managed to get to Pycelle's room in the castle without anyone of importance noticing.

Jaime repeatedly knocked on the maesters door and it gradually opened to reveal the wizened, old Grand Maester behind. "Maester Pycelle, the Lady Brienne of Tarth has injured herself outside the castle and she requires your help, if you're not otherwise preoccupied."

"No, no, of course not Ser! I've just come from the king's Small Council meeting so I'd be pleased to check on your lady," Pycelle said and gestured them in. Brienne pointedly ignored his slight insinuation and looked around the maesters office. Maester Pycelle had a desk with papers and books neatly stacked on top, with three sick single beds placed on the opposite side with two large windows facing the sea. An assistant to the maester, who was sitting at the desk, bowed at them and retreated to the adjoining room in the corner.

They limped over to the middle bed and she gingerly sat down. "Thank you for your assistance, Ser Jaime, you can go back to your duties now," Brienne affirmed, not meeting his eyes.

"You're welcome but I'd rather stay for the official diagnosis of your foot," Jaime insists and Brienne shrugs, losing the will to argue with him while her foot throbbed in pain.

She took off her shoe and Pycelle examined her foot, rolling it back and forth and left to right and asked probing questions to Brienne's suppressed agony. "You have a sprained ankle, my lady. A ligament must've torn when you were climbing those stairs but thanks the Gods Ser Jaime was there to rescue you." _Yet again,_ Brienne added silently and met the aforementioned's gaze but looked away quickly. "I will wrap your ankle in some gauze and spray a healing potion over it. You'll have to rest for the next two nights so try not to walk unassisted during. I can prescribe some willow bark for you to chew for the pain afterwards."

He unwrapped his belt full of various material from his waist, placed it on the bed beside Brienne and retrieved a roll of gauze from it. Pycelle carefully wrapped the gauze around her ankle then stood up. "Excuse me, the healing spray is stored with the other elixirs in the adjoining room. Keep that foot elevated and I'll be right back."

The elderly man shuffled across the room to the door in the corner and vanished behind it. Brienne sat patiently but felt rather ridiculous with her leg up and her skirt pulled up to her calf while Jaime just stood there. 

"So... I guess I'll fetch you later for dinner at Tyrion's, right?" Jaime decisively asked again but Brienne felt her patience suddenly snap.

"No! I told you, it wouldn't be fitting at all!" Brienne spoke sharply, throwing her hands up in frustration, conveniently pushing the Maester's tool belt off the bed and to the floor, smashing a pocketed corked bottle and spilling the liquid inside. Several things then happened next, none of it good. Brienne reached down the pick the belt up, subsequently dropping her leg down, accidentally cutting her foot bottom on the jagged glass below. Jaime noticed her wince and gasp in pain as she stepped in the fluid beneath them and he leapt forward to help her.

"Brienne! Are you alright?" Jaime grabbed her the shoulders and she slowly lifted her head to look at him. When she met his eyes, he saw her pupils fully dilate, the black taking over the blue immediately and she inhaled slowly.

"I feel... strange. I... Jaime..." Brienne trailed off and blushed thoroughly. Her breathing increased and she licked her lips, biting her large bottom one. Looking at her now, if Jaime didn't know any better, he would've thought she was...

Brienne suddenly scrambled back on the bed and physically shrank away from him, hiding her face and looking away from him. "Leave, Ser Jaime! _LEAVE!_ GET MAESTER PYCELLE AND LEAVE!!"

Incredibly baffled, Jaime hastily stood and backed away from her, bumping into Pycelle on the way out. "She needs you, please help her-," Jaime pleaded and Pycelle nodded. 

"I will exam the lady and you will wait out here until I'm done." Pycelle replied unnervingly and closed the door on Jaime's face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave kudos and a spare encouraging comment. I am really, really nervous about how this will be received so I'm looking forward to seeing everyone's reactions. Brienne is (informally) sworn to protect Sansa so I do think she'd worry about her in her marriage with Tyrion, she would want to know if she's being abused or mistreated.  
> [Banner made by the amazing Ronordmann!](https://ronordmann.tumblr.com/)  
> [The Waiting Place by KariAnn1222](https://archiveofourown.org/works/479063/chapters/832123)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and a few others come to learn of what currently ails Lady Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing on! And now for the largely determining second chapter....

All Jaime could do was wait outside the room and contemplate what was going on inside and why it was taking so long. Finally, Pycelle's apprentice left the room but when Jaime asked him if she was ok, the apprentice only shook his head and said he was on a errand to retrieve someone. The assistant soon returned with Maester Qyburn, who ignored him and entered the room. Soon after the door opened and the apprentice came through it again. He didn't even bother saying anything, instead rushed off somewhere urgently. The apprentice came back sometime later with Jaime's father, Lord Tywin with Tyrion and a Lannister guard hot at his heels. 

"Father, why are you h-" Jaime started to ask but was resolutely ignored as Tywin strolled into the room with the assistant. Less than a minute later, Tywin emerged back out, strode over to his guard, speaking to him in a low voice and then the guard took off down the hall. "Is she well?" Jaime finally asked.

Tywin had an inscrutable look on his face. "That remains to be seen, Jaime. For now, we wait."

_Wait? For what?_ Jaime asked himself silently as he spared a glance to Tyrion, who only shrugged in turn. A little while later, the guard returned and with him came Cersei, Joffrey and the High Septon. _Oh great, it's turned into a bloody family reunion,_ Jaime thought bitterly as they all bowed to His and Her Grace.

"Cersei? Your Grace? Why have you all come here?" Jaime questioned, silently wondering what his father was up to.

"Father's guard interrupted Joffrey's pre-wedding rehearsal with Lady Margaery and insisted that all three of us were needed elsewhere for an urgent matter," Cersei relayed, visibly annoyed with this development. Feeling his patience snap, Jaime turned around and made to enter the room but the door opened suddenly and he had to swerve out of the way, avoiding Pycelle, Qyburn and the assistant who all left the room at once. He tried to peer around them to check on Brienne and while he couldn't see her, he heard a faint moan of sorts. Brienne's moan didn't sound pained but rather... wanton, he realized with a start.

Maester Pycelle and Lord Tywin dismissed their assistant and guard, respectively, both who were clearly relieved and finally left the hall. Finally, they had all assembled outside the Maesters room to learn the verdict.

"Your Graces, My lords, thank the gods you've all assembled here so quickly," Maester Pycelle wheezed out. "Lady Brienne's ailment is a matter of most seriousness and it simply can't be treated alone with ointment and gauze."

"What do you mean?" Jaime shamelessly interrupted. "She only cut her foot, what more could that require?"

"Quite a lot, Ser," Qyburn vaguely answered him and faintly smirked.

"Lady Brienne cut her foot yes, but it's what she cut it on is what we've gathered here to discuss. The liquid in the bottle she stepped on is no normal health elixir. After examining the lady and reviewing the contents of the bottle with former Maester Qyburn, it was just as I feared. _Servus Targaeryous_. It was made by alchemists King Aerys II commissioned after his wife Queen Rhaella repeatedly failed to produce a female heir for Prince Rhaegar after many years and infused with properties from red priestesses from Volantis. When I was Grand Maester during his reign, I only knew of it after it was made and was consulted to help treat the young women afflicted with it. Aerys wanted to make sure the potion worked before he fed it to his queen, so he tested it on two Flea Bottom women first. The potion, when digested or absorbed by a woman, makes her go into a extreme fertile state, akin to how a woman is right before her moonblood comes, primed to mate for multiple babes and the conjury from the red priestesses bewitched it so she must mate with the first male she set her eyes on. Unfortunately, the alchemists didn't control the amount of what properties went in, and so if the act of procreation is delayed, the woman's health will eventually deteriorate, until her inner organs shut down first and she dies within a day or so. The first woman who took it didn’t survive because Aerys was held up in court all day.

There was no antidote made, except for the natural cure of the desired man's seed. King Aerys had three bastard children born from the union but only one lived past infancy and Aerys did not want for him to compete for Rhaegar's crown so he was secretly put to death a few years later. His Grace never used the potion on Queen Rhaella because she soon fell pregnant with the Prince Viserys and ordered the potion and its record destroyed. The alchemists got rid of most of it but I kept a sliver of it for myself for sentimental value but I never thought it would be discovered upon like this."

A chilled silence fell over the group as they absorbed Pycelle's words. _Potion, procreate, mate, babes,_ the words all flew around aimlessly in Jaime's mind and he couldn't fully comprehend what he just heard. The very thought of the Mad King, the man Jaime slew himself, making such a barbaric concoction made his head spin and the fact that it had afflicted Brienne now was rage inducing but Jaime was able to hold it together, at least on the outside.

"So what you're saying...," Tyrion slowly started. "Is that Lady Brienne will have to... fuck or ultimately perish?" Jaime cringed at his brothers lack of tact and the blunt oversimplification of the situation.

"Yes my lord, she will have to copulate with Ser Jaime to heal or die" Pycelle clarified and Jaime sharply inhaled with the truth. "That's why we brought you all here along with the High Septon. You see, it could be Ser Jaime, or any other Lannister male to help cure the lady. Only the seed of a Lannister implanted in her more than once will help her."

"Oh please, you have severely dimmed down in your old age Grand Maester," Cersei spoke first and scoffed. "The last magic in the world left when the last dragons died out generations ago."

"That may be true from a certain perspective, Your Grace, but the teachings of R'hllor is still widely regarded and practiced in Essos, they say his most devout followers are granted abilities beyond what is natural. Besides, they say the Wall was built centuries ago with Northern magic and it still stands and the rumors of dragons in the east grow louder every day," Pycelle countered, seemingly affronted by her suggestion.

Jaime looked at Tyrion, then Tywin, Cersei, Joffrey and the High Septon and they looked back at him in varying emotions. "My brother cannot fulfill this request, as he is a sworn brother of the Kingsguard, and Lord Commander at that," Cersei confidently stated.   
  


“Yes but Kingsguard may be released from their oaths by their King and High Septon,” Qyburn unctuously replied. 

”There’s no need for such drastic measures, I’m sure my younger brother Tyrion is adequate enough to cure the lady,” Cersei shot back.

Tyrion opened his mouth to respond but Lord Tywin beat him to it. “Tyrion is already wedded and bedded to Lady Sansa, he certainly will not be straying in his marriage especially when their union is still new. If the King were to grant Ser Jaime release from Kingsguard and the High Septon were to officially release and pardon him,” Tywin specified while eyeing Joffrey with a most severe look, “Then I don’t see why Jaime shouldn’t heal Lady Brienne, for the lady's sake.”

Jaime had lived almost forty years but had never been the subject of an intense conversation without having actually saying anything. Before he could, however, Cersei tried again.

”And Jaime has just been instated as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. It would reflect poorly on us if we were to set this sort of example. Father, you’re still well and able-bodied enough, might you perhaps be the one to do the deed,” Cersei feebly pleaded but Tywin shook his head in the negative.

”I could, but I profess I don’t see the need to. It would be utterly improper seeing as I’m not acquainted with the lady as Jaime is.”

“Yes, my Lord Hand, Ser Jaime and Lady Brienne are quite acquainted with each other. When they were held at Harrenhal, Ser Jaime joined her in the bathhouse and they were both in there for an unusually long time,” Qyburn revealed and all eyes present promptly shifted to look at Jaime.

”I joined her in the bath because I was feverish and wanted someone close by to catch me if I were to faint and slip under. Nothing inappropriate happened and she left with her virtue intact,” Jaime admitted in his defense, speaking for the first time since the crucial information was divulged. Cersei couldn’t have hid the livid expression on her face if she tried.

“I wonder,” Joffrey arrogantly started and Jaime fought the urge to groan. “If perhaps I could be the one to fulfill this task. After all, I am the Father and Lord of the realm and I should be Lannister enough for the job.”

It was all Jaime could do to not reach over and throttle his lecherous bastard son by the neck but Pycelle stopped him by saying: “No Your Grace, I think your Baratheon blood would disqualify you from the service and you are betrothed to marry Lady Margaery, although I'm sure Lady Brienne will appreciate the sentiment."  
  


"Well, the choice now lies with Ser Jaime," Tywin announced, strangely calm. "As your Hand, I am in favor of you allowing Ser Jaime to be immediately released from the Kingsguard, Your Grace." Jaime did not fail to notice his father's eerie composure but could only make a mental note of it for later, as his lord father was always silently scheming and this scenario certainly wouldn't be exempt from it. 

Joffrey momentarily thought on it and then conceded with a shrug. "Very well." Jaime let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. "With the Queen Regent, Hand of the King, Master of Coin, Grand Maester and High Septon as witnesses, I, King Joffrey I of Houses Baratheon and Lannister, hereby release the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Ser Jaime Lannister from his Kingsguard oath so that he may cure the Lady Brienne of House Tarth. May the High Septon bless and pardon him in the Faith of the Seven."

Jaime nodded at the king and then turned to the indifferent High Septon. "Ser Jaime Lannister, you stand here before me to be redeemed and exalted in the light of the Seven for being lawfully released from the Kingsguard by King Joffrey I on sufficient enough grounds...." the septon's words went in one ear and out the other as Jaime stood in a haze. He mindlessly repeated his blessing for each god in front of him and was asked to remove his white cloak, officially relieving him for duty. Unexpectedly, a weight lifted off his shoulders as he passed the cloak to his father.

"Who shall you choose as your successor as Lord Commander, Ser Jaime?" Tywin asked. "While you are indisposed, I shall need to let him know."

"Ser Arys Oakheart shall succeed me," Jaime answered, confident in his choice. He was now free of service as a royal bodyguard... to save Brienne's life. Anxious butterflies bloomed in his stomach and he rubbed his left palm against his armor.

"Well, I think we should all leave you to it," Tywin replied, seeing Jaime's apprehension. "I shall arrange for food and drink to be sent up later when you're finished. Grand Maester, I sure hope you've sent a raven to Lord Selwyn at Evenhall Hall informing him of the news of his daughters condition."

"Oh, right, yes!" Pycelle said, snapping out of whatever ancient stupor he had slipped into. "The letter shall be written and delivered to Lord Selwyn post haste."

"And when you're done you shall meet with me in the Tower of the Hand, to discuss the consequences of your grievous error," Tywin ordered in a tone that left no room for argument and turned on his heel and briskly left. Joffrey, Qyburn, Pycelle and the High Septon all followed him. Cersei shot a final scathing look at him but Jaime could only stare back, knowing very well he hadn't heard the last of her objections but by the next time they'd talk, the deed will have already been done. She swept away with a flourish of her dress and then there was only his little brother. They shared a look but Tyrion only nodded at him in encouragement.

"Well, time is of the essence, so don't keep her waiting," Tyrion stated and peered up at him. "How do you feel? And please don't say any bullshit like you're fine."

Jaime slightly chuckled incredulously and shook his head. "I feel... ready. As ready as I can or can hope to be in this situation."

Tyrion nodded again and with a last look, he departed. Alone in the hall, Jaime prepared himself to enter, he cleared his mind of everything and swallowed the lump in his throat. Pacified enough, he exhaled and pushed open the door to enter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN I know, I know. It's fucked up yeah, but just go with it ok? I wanted to write something controversial for JB so this is as controversial as it gets lol. My explanation for Brienne's illness may be a little far fetched, sure, but this is just fanfiction so... First time smut coming next chapter, totally not nervous at all, wish me luck in the comments?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, please remember this my first time smut so I really tried my best with this. Shoutout to my best beta and my most encouraging reader, Cami for reading and reviewing this for me. So without further ado...

The door to Pycelle's opened and Jaime went through it quickly and closed it. He stared straight ahead at the windows for a moment before turning to look at the writhing woman laying on the bed. _Brienne..._

She was undressed down to her shift, he first noticed with her brown jerkin and blue skirt folded neatly beside her. Her thin shift only went down to her mid-thighs but a pillow from the other bed was wedged in between her thighs, clamped tightly within. Brienne's chest rose and fell rapidly with gasping breaths, her face red and slightly perspiring, her once clear blue eyes now wild meeting his.

Jaime was stunned; what was he even supposed to say in this situation? " _Hello wench, I'm here to fuck you now"?_ He cleared his throat and settled for a gentle, "Hey."

Brienne did not reply, only whimpered and looked away from him. At the sight of the normally controlled wench now reduced to wantonness and lust, Jaime's spirit broke a little inside for her. He respected and admired her and might even like her, he'll readily admit that now, after everything but she didn't deserve this. Nobody really did, but especially not Brienne, he realized. 

"Brienne, you do know what's infected you, right? Pycelle and Qyburn told you?" he inquired and she slowly nods.

"Have they told you of what is to happen between us?" Jaime tentatively asked, moving a little bit closer to the bed but keeping his distance.

Still looking away from him, Brienne nodded and murmured a quiet, "Yes." 

Jaime walked even closer to her and Brienne’s gaze finally left the window to meet his again, tracking his movement like a predator would with its prey. Up close, he noticed her breasts straining through the cotton shift, her nipples hard and pointing straight at him. This vision paired with the sudden memory of what she looked like underneath her clothes thanks to their shared bath at Harrenhal caused a stirring in his breeches, much to his slight guilt. 

“Brienne... it doesn’t have to be me, you know,” Jaime professed. “We’re acquainted but you don’t want me. If you want... my brother Tyrion is a good man and he’ll treat you honorably...”

Brienne shook her head and lifted herself to sit up. “No, Jaime, no,” her hands went down and removed the pillow from between her legs, tossing it aside. “I want it to be _you_. No one else.” She then did something unexpected for her: she crossed her arms and lifted her shift up, taking it off, dropping it to the ground yet her gaze was still averted.

He couldn’t help himself; his eyes swept over her naked flesh, taking in her wide shoulders, freckled arms and thighs, torso covered in goosebumps and recognizing the blonde bush covering the pink wet he was soon to explore. She wasn’t any more comelier than before but in this moment, she was more desirable to him than anybody. Jaime felt himself harden from half aroused to full mast and he nodded with her words. With her verbal consent, he knew this was happening and there would be no going back now. In his entire life, Jaime had only ever been with Cersei but this new development strangely left him with a sense of calm.

Jaime's left hand came up to unbuckle his armor but at the slow rate he was going, Brienne's condition would continue to worsen whilst he struggled to remove his clothes. He felt her eyes on him, watching him attempt to disrobe but then he looked up as she suddenly got up and left the bed, walking to him. Apparently her sprained ankle didn't hinder her at all, limping over to him as if in a trance. She stood right in front him and started to remove his armor and chain mail in his lower regions. Together, they took off his chain mail, three-pointed crown chest and back plate, sword belt and sheath, arm buckles and then his tan leather jerkin and red tunic. Jaime reached down to untie his breeches and Brienne knelt down to help take off his boots. He stepped out of them and she stood back up, his smallclothes the only barrier between them. Brienne stared into his eyes then down to his barely concealed erection, her lust for him evident. Jaime gulped, then pushed down his smallclothes, and stepped out of them too. Wordlessly, Brienne took Jaime's hand and led him back to bed.

She laid back first and spread her legs wide, fully exposing herself to him. She was completely at his mercy, tender, helpless and open for him. Jaime climbed in after, leaning over her and settled in between the apex of her thighs, his cock near her swollen and soaked entrance. _I can't just shove myself in her unprompted, I have to touch her first. Sweet words, gentle touches._ Leaning on his golden hand, his left hand came up and gently cupped her breasts, and Brienne gasped and mewled high in her throat. With that encouraging response, Jaime grabbed her left breast firmly and rolled her rose pink nipple between his pointer finger and thumb. She moaned and blushed an even deeper red, which Jaime was pleased to see it spread down her neck and chest. Unable to resist, he swooped down to her other nipple and tongued it before suckling it into his mouth. 

"Oh, gods," Brienne all but shrieks, her hands coming up to comb through his hair. It took Jaime a moment to realize she was trying to tug him off her breast, so he pulled away from her. "I _ache,_ Jaime, please."

Guilt and shame abruptly filled him, the realization that he relished in pleasuring her while thinking she was enjoying it too when in reality she was in pain, made him lean up and nod. "I'm sorry, I'll just..."

His left hand left her breast, dragging it down her surprisingly soft stomach, trailing his fingers through the coarse blonde pubic hairs on her mound. She inhaled sharply when he cupped her damp flesh and keened out a hard cry when Jaime spread her lower folds. He maneuvered his member to rub back and forth on her wet folds, his cockhead bumping against her nub, and he nearly came at the feel of her slick cunt on his cock. As he had noted before, she was hairier than Cersei but also wetter than his sweet sister. "Please," she whispered and he looked into her stormy eyes, "I really need it now, Jaime."

Jaime was in the midst of silently deliberating on how to make this softer and less clinical for her when she suddenly bucked up and thrust her hips, encasing his cock within her tight, soaking and scorching heat. He gasped in astonishment then grunted at the feel of her wrapped around him and she grasped her arms around his upper back and snaked her long legs around his waist, making him sink further into her. Brienne whimpered and Jaime pushed in all the way, her head falling back in ecstasy as she clenched around him.

With that, he knew he wasn't going to last long, but she did need his seed to heal, so he brushed that insecurity aside and started to pull back and plunge back in her, slowly at first then speeding up after some time. His thrusts didn't have the usual finesse to them but Brienne didn't seem to mind, her moans unending and loud so he kept on at it, all the while thinking _I'm fucking Brienne. I'm actually fucking Brienne._ The sound of skin slapping against each other filled the air and Jaime looked down at them joined, and his felt himself swell inside her but then Brienne brought his hand back up to her chest to play with her breasts again. "Brienne, I'm gonna come- fuck-" the words left his strangled throat and then he was coming hard, his balls drawing up and feeling himself pulse inside her, her insides clenching and milking him for all of his seed. Brienne came with a high cry of his name and Jaime knew then he only wanted her cry out his name like that, no one else.

After his peak subsided, Jaime fell on top of her but kept his weight off of her, his head coming to rest and pant into her shoulder. _The Maid of Tarth is a maiden no longer,_ Jaime grasped when the pleasure finally faded from his mind. Lifting his head a bit, he met her wide blue eyes and asked," Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

”I’m fine, Ser Jaime,” Brienne shyly said through her own arduous pants, once again back to using his title. “I’m actually feeling a bit better, thanks to you.” Apparently back to her senses, she was back to being the shy maiden, even when their bodies were still conjoined with his softening member still inside her.

Jaime felt the repressed emotions he harbored for her hit him like a tidal wave all at once. How such a singular, remarkable, brave and powerful young woman like Brienne came into his life and has now become so entangled and interwoven in his messed up one baffled him. He knew Brienne was physically strong but it was this experience that solidified his knowledge to she has the strength inside to bear so many of her hardships. _Her maidenhead has now been taken by The Kingslayer_ , a sardonic inner voice reminded him and his mood soured, _she’ll be tainted by me forever._

”Brienne... I... I’m sorry,” Jaime breathed out the apology. “Please forgive me, you deserved better, I dishonored you and I am so sorry-”

”Don’t be,” Brienne sharply replied and brought her hand up to cup his face. “There is no dishonor in you saving me from death once again. I could not have asked nor even dreamt for a better first bedding, if not perhaps one for a wedding night that will never happen. Besides, it should be me apologizing, I made you break your Kingsguard oath to save me, I’m so very sorry-“

”No, Brienne, no,” Jaime corrected and shook his head. “I was formally released by the king and the High Septon, just before I came in here to heal you. You are innocent in that regard, I assure you.”

”But... are you sure? I’m sure that’s not...” she trailed off and inhaled distinctly. “Jaime... I think it’s starting again...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, their second time in Brienne’s POV. I purposefully made the sex a little awkward obviously because of this circumstance and since it's their first time. Yes, that was a Jaime quote from AFFC. Let me know if this was good in the comments and kudos please and thanks!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne experiences the second wave of the potion and initiates another round with Jaime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for commenting. I've never got such an encouraging response on a chapter update like that before, so I really do appreciate it a lot. Again, huge shoutout to Cami for calming me down with my writing anxieties and reading and reviewing this beforehand.

Brienne was on fire.

Her insides were building up from a doused flame back into the raging inferno she had felt just mere minutes ago. Jaime’s red and now flaccid cock slipped out of her as he leaned way to the side on what was left of the small mattress and faced her. She stared into his emerald eyes and saw everything she wanted him to do to her in them. It was incredibly enticing, provocative and utterly improper but she just couldn’t help it.

Numbly, Brienne knew the potion was overriding her good judgment from the moment it was absorbed into her as she set her sights on Ser Jaime. In that instant, she envisioned many different arousing fantasies featuring them: him naked on top of her, passionately kissing her, vigorously pounding his cock in her, pleasuring her in various positions she had only ever heard of, flooding her with his seed to stamp out the wildfire raging with her. She then saw herself swelling heavy with his babe, or babes, their children born out of their passionate encounter. They would be beautiful and golden like him but they'd have her blue eyes, she was certain. It was an elaborate dream, equal parts both alluring and perverse, yet Brienne knew deep down that it had to happen.

Brienne could only just hold herself back from jumping his bones, screaming for him to leave the room at once and almost wept when he actually followed her instructions for once, and left her aching alone. Maester Pycelle, stunned with the healing spray in hand, had asked her what was wrong. She could only describe her symptoms to him in pants and stunted sentences, and he bent to examine the cursed potion she stepped in. After that, it was all a blur. She vaguely remembered the maesters apprentice running out to fetch Maester Qyburn for a second opinion and then Lord Tywin Lannister entering to quickly confer with them, barely sparing her a glance, then leaving again. Pycelle hesitantly approached her and requested she stretch her foot out to spray and wrap more gauze around but Brienne couldn’t even focus on the relief from it and only on the pulsing flame starting in her womb and spreading further. She only just barely comprehended what he explained what she was infected with, a secret magic potion the Mad King had made to get an heir on his wife, and how Ser Jaime or his brother or father could be the only men to save her from eventual death.

The fire inside her grew, which made her pant and sweat so Pycelle clarified that her body would be hyper-sensitized and suggested that she undress down to her shift to feel a little relief, so she did, not even minding the fact that she did so in front of men. The cotton shift gave her some friction on her sensitive teats but she still felt empty and aching to be filled. Qyburn handed her the pillow from the neighboring bed and told her to place it between her thighs, so she did, grinding against it to alleviate some of her need.   
  


After they left, she heard some voices on the other side of the door, but she recognized and pinpointed on Jaime’s. Another wanton vision came over her, imagining him thrusting over her grunting her name in that same tone which simultaneously filled her with such shame and lust, she could only heave out breaths and stare into the distance in anticipation. Before any of this, Brienne very rarely had fantasies of a sexual nature, mostly they were romantic and only starred Renly. He would sweep her off her feet, defend her from the naysayers and lovingly wrap his yellow and black Baratheon cloak over her shoulders in an act of matrimony. Even though he had married Lady Margaery and she had cried envious tears that night, her love for him never ceased, only waxed and waned. Only very recently could Brienne admit to herself that Ser Jaime had replaced Renly in her dreams, but they were still of a mostly innocent kind and she always brushed it off afterwards, citing an overabundance of close interactions with him as the reason for it. Well, now she truly knew.

When Jaime walked in, seemingly aware of the situation and then consented to helping her, she was grateful and contrite all at once. Grateful that he had, once again, come to rescue her out of a dire situation and guilty of the prospect of what was to happen between them. If he fucked her, he would be breaking his faithfulness to Cersei, a bond that had never truly been impeded before (well, as much as Brienne knew, at least on Jaime's part) until now. It was almost comical how quickly her lust overrode both emotions and her modesty as she bared herself and helped him shed his armor and clothing, leading him to the bed.

What followed next was indescribable, a clashing of their wanton bodies, creating a storm within her that could rival the tempests that brewed in the Narrow Sea by Tarth and a release by both of them that shook her to the core, finally halting the fire but leaving a faint simmer. She had always held a certain aversion to losing her maidenhead, a fear instilled in her from youth from Septa Roelle, strengthened even more so ever since the Bloody Mummers of Harrenhal, but as she felt it breach and pop from Jaime's ministrations, she really couldn't have cared less. The sheer pleasure from the act and the knowledge that she willingly gave it to the man she trusts completely gave her peace of mind. Now, there they were, lying side by side, building up the strength (or in her case, the courage) to do it again.

His gaze left hers, glancing down at her undesirable body and then back up to her face. Strangely, she didn't feel the same pangs of insecurity over her broad shoulders, meager breasts, wide hips and unshaven parts, only blushing harder under his stare. She then noticed his hand reaching down to fondle himself, closing a fist over his member and slowly stroking it up and down. However, his left-handed grip looked wrong to her so, as if she were possessed, she reached down to take over for him but stopped short of touching him.

"May I?" Brienne tentatively asked, peering up into his eyes and after a moment, he nodded jerkily. Her face blushed the color of his house banner as her right hand took up where his hand left off, encasing her palm around his smooth pillar of flesh. She made a fist, mimicking what he did, and slid it up and down, drawing a shuddering gasp from Jaime. Feeling his cock harden and lengthen in her hand, it left her with an odd sense of awe, pride and slight apprehension. _Aroused at the thought of his sister, no doubt,_ Brienne sourly thought until he interrupted her brooding, keening lowly in his throat. "Brienne, oh gods, Brienne," he moaned and she startled, relieving her of all anxiety with just a few words. _He truly does desire me... at least in this moment, but he does...._

The longer she continued to stroke his cock, the more the fire inside her grew and she wiggled in her spot on the side of the bed. Sensing her growing discomfort, Jaime's left hand reached down, grasped her thigh and pulled it over his hip. He rubbed her outer thigh and buttocks then dipped his hand in between and touched her wetness again. She bucked and undulated her hips as he slipped his middle finger up her cunt and thumbed her clit, pumping and kneading all at once, working her into a frenzy. Incredulously, she realized she was fast approaching her peak and knew she wanted him to reach it with her too. 

"Please, I need you in me, Jaime-" he interrupted her begging by swiftly removing his fingers and closed the gap between them, his member slipping in her as their pelvises grinded against each other, his pubic hair tickling her nub. His eyes bore into hers and he pulled out only to take the plunge again, filling her to the brim, bringing tears to her eyes. She was genuinely about to cry. She had been infected with a crude and deadly breeding potion and Ser Jaime was dutifully fucking her ailment away and she was about to cry. Her orgasm overwhelmed her as she cried out his name, closing her eyes and felt the tears slip under her eyelids and into the pillow. Three hard and final thrusts later, Jaime hoarsely moaned as his seed rushed into her, dowsing the blaze in her womb completely. In that moment, she knew she'd be tethered to this man forever. He grated her nerves, tested her patience several times, continually surprised her with tales and acts of bravery, breaking down the walls of her carefully guarded character and heart and by the gods, she loved him. She's known it for a while now but couldn't conceptualize it until now, she loves him.

As they fought to catch their breaths, Jaime pulled out of her but their legs remained wrapped around each other. 

"How do you feel now, Brienne?" Jaime asked, his face uncomfortably close to hers on the pillow. 

"Unequivocally better, thank you, again," she quietly replied, looking down to where he lazily drew patterns on her dewy waist to her hip. 

"So, what happens now?" 

His question stumped her and Brienne couldn't help but think about the many problems and possibilities stemming from their encounter. _Would he go back to Cersei and pretend this never happened? Would his seed take root in her and she'd be known as a whore and (falsely) as an murderer throughout the Seven Kingdoms? The Maid of Tarth now known as the Kingslayer’s Whore, how would her father react? Could they move on from this experience and return to their platonic friendship?_ "I don't feel anymore pain so I think it's best if I were to be checked over by Maester Pycelle so he can confirm. And no, Ser Jaime, I really don't think I'll be able to make Lord Tyrion's dinner tonight."

Jaime let out a sharp laugh as his features changed from worrisome to amusement so Brienne allowed herself to crack a smile too. Suddenly, the moment turned too tender and he appeared even closer to her now. He glanced down to her lips then back into her eyes again. She wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or if he was closing the gap between their lips but she pulled back at the last second, closing her eyes and leaning back. Beside her, he huffed out a breathe and seemed on the verge of saying something but a knock interrupted them.

"Refreshments for Ser Jaime and Lady Brienne of Tarth, courtesy of Lord Hand Tywin Lannister," a castle page announced from the other side of the door. "Lord Tywin and Grand Maester Pycelle will be returning here shortly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering why I made Jaime keep his golden hand on during their time together and why they didn't kiss at all, the answer is pretty obvious tbh. I kinda forgot to mention Brienne's underwear in this and the last chapter but just pretend she had them on and took them off after with her shift lol. After this chapter, there won't be anymore smut (at least immediately following) but there will be angst, drama, and sloooow burn, so there's that to look forward to. Hope everyone is safe and healthy in these trying times.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne deal with the immediate aftermath of their coupling, Tywin instigates and a proposal of sorts is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, what a great response last chapter! I'm so glad you all enjoyed it, lord knows I worked really hard on it. Thanks again to Cami for reading, reviewing and encouraging me! So without further ado...

Jaime had suffered through many awkward situations in his life, but he had never before been in one quite like this. He stood by the food cart, swallowing the last of a strawberry scone and washing it down with a goblet of Arbor Gold. He swished the wine around his mouth, reminded of their delicate interaction nearly ten minutes ago.

_"Some wine, Brienne?" Jaime offered, dressed in only his smallclothes and unlaced tunic._

_"No thank you," Brienne answered, avoiding his gaze with an emblazoned red face. She was in her shift, toying with her long skirt in her hands, about to redress herself. He shrugged and poured her a hearty amount anyways._

_"It's Tywin Lannister, believe me, you'll want some whenever he's around."_

The aforementioned stood in his assertive posture by the windows, observing Brienne with a hawk-like gaze. Fully dressed now, she answered Pycelle's questions unflinchingly but her embarrassment was evident through her blush. 

"Your breathing and heart rate has stabilized so that's a good indication that the potion has been neutralized by Ser Jaime's seed. Due to the nature of the potion, it will quicken inside of you so within the next two weeks you might experience some symptoms such as morning sickness, tender breasts, and an aversion to certain foods, the former of which should subside after a month or two. You'll stop getting your moonblood and start to show after the third moon but as the chances of multiple babes are higher, it will likely be sooner. The possibility of you having twins or triplets is also high, but we won't know until your time to birth comes, in about nine or so moons," Pycelle wheezed out and at least had the gall to look a little abashed.

Brienne's impassive facade broke and she inhaled sharply when the last bit of information was spoken. Jaime knew she was briefed about this as much as he was before their coupling but it hearing aloud suddenly made the picture of their outlooks more vivid than ever. _Brienne is pregnant with my babes..._ The evidence of what they had just done is growing inside her right now.

"Your lord father has already been informed of your ailment, and I've disposed the remains of _Servus Targaeryous_ into the Blackwater, but the record still exists. Once again, I am truly sorry," Pycelle said and bowed his head low, backing away to the corner. 

Jaime looked at her, then his father, then at the Grand Maester. "Thank you, Grand Maester, that is all, you are dismissed. I must talk to my son and Lady Brienne now," Tywin ordered and as usual, Pycelle bowed to each of them then shuffled out the door. Jaime downed the rest of his wine in one large gulp, silently hoping that this next conversation didn’t go sideways.

"My lady, I don't believe we've been properly introduced to each other before this, but circumstances tend to work out for the better, no matter how unfortunate," Tywin started, a slight levity in his tone despite his demeanor and bowed to her respectfully.

Brienne nodded so Tywin took that as a indication to continue. “I must confess that I have heard of you before, since your reputation precedes you. Am I mistaken in saying that you were once sworn guard to Renly Baratheon when he crowned himself king, and you fled after he died of mysterious circumstances and somehow found yourself in the Stark camp, now sworn to Young Wolf’s mother Lady Catelyn Stark. Then you leave with my son in tow, he inexplicably loses a hand, you both rendezvous at Harrenhal with Roose Bolton and now you’re here, a fortnight later, speaking to me after being accidentally imbued with a breeding potion made by the Mad King.”

His father’s oversimplification of past events rose both a reaction out of Jaime and Brienne, his anger and her ire. “Yes my Lord Hand, but you’re missing a few details here, I-”

”Lady Brienne there is only one detail I need to know about your recent endeavors and you will explain it right now: How did Renly Baratheon die?” Tywin asked, domineering over her.

Brienne’s face crumpled and she sighed heavily. “On the eve of the battle between he and Stannis, I was removing his armor in his pavilion with only Lady Catelyn as a witness. They were discussing a parley between the south and the North when a shadow in the shape of Stannis crept in behind him and stabbed him through the heart. Lady Catelyn was able to smuggle me out because she knew his murder would’ve been pinned on me.”

Tywin absorbed her answer then nodded after a moment. “There’s been reports of a red priestess from Essos accompanying Stannis everywhere, so your excuse may have some merit. Lady Brienne, do you mind answering some more questions for me?”

Knowing there wouldn’t be any way out of this, Brienne obliged him a tired nod. “No, I don’t mind, my Lord Hand.”

”How many years old are you, my lady?”

”I’m nine-and-twenty, my Lord Hand.”

”Do you have any other siblings back on Tarth or are you the sole heir?”

Jaime focused his full attention to her, curious to know himself. “My older brother drowned when he was young and my younger sisters died in the cradle. My father never remarried when my lady mother died so yes, it’s just me.”

“So how is it that you, an almost thirty year old highborn lady, and a maiden up until a few minutes ago, are not married right now? Your father has never made a match for you?”

Brienne hung her head low and murmured out, “He _has_.”

_Then why is she not..._ Tywin took the words right out of his mind. “What happened to those betrothals, my lady?”

”My first betrothal was to a young boy from Nightsong and I was only seven. He died from a chill along with his family two years later. My next two betrothals were to Ser Ronnet Connington and to Ser Humfrey Wagstaff but both were broken up due to... irreconcilable differences,” Brienne revealed, not meeting either of their eyes.

Jaime felt confusion with her revelation of past engagements. What man would not want to marry Brienne? Tywin, however, seemed smug with what he had just heard. "And so, your father let you go out into the world to play knight, as I have with Jaime, but I think those times have past now. Tell me, my lady, why do you linger here in the Red Keep? Do you have a folly notion to take Lady Sansa Lannister back to the North, like the rumors I keep hearing? Or do you plan to swear yourself to another liege now that Lady Stark is dead?" Brienne looked affronted by his bold suggestions but he continued nevertheless. "Will you go back to Tarth with a few bastards in your belly and hope to take up the role of the Evenstar?"

His patience snapped; he wouldn't let his father humiliate her any longer. "Father, that is-"

"Completely reasonable seeing as Lady Brienne consented to answering my questions," Tywin interrupted with a spare glance his way. 

"I was sworn to Lady Stark to return her daughters when I returned Ser Jaime here but," said Brienne, now meek and weary, "now this has happened. I truly don't know what I'll do next."

"Only a select few know about the astronomical coincidence that happened here today but you heard Pycelle; the rest of the Seven Kingdoms won't understand or even care when they see you or know whose babes you carry. They will only see the wench who killed Lord Renly, the late king's brother, and the Kingslayer's _pregnant_ whore. After this, you might think to take moon tea to rid you of the babes but due to the nature of the castle, the walls have ears within them and word travels fast. Lord Varys' birds may have already heard of what took place here an hour ago. Lady Brienne, your reputation would be ruined, even more so. Your only solution and possible salvation lies in what I have to offer you."

Brienne, stunned to silence, took a moment to digest his insinuations. "... And what do you offer me, my lord Hand?"

"My son's hand in marriage and protection from House Lannister," Tywin declared, knocking the air out of both of them. "It's actually quite simple. Jaime has just been released from the Kingsguard before this and you are a highborn lady from a strong vassal. If you marry, your children would be legitimate and there would be heirs for both Houses Lannister and Tarth. Your reputation would be saved before complete ruin, my lady, and Jaime will have a wife to take back to Casterly Rock. Normally, you wouldn't be my first choice for a bride for my firstborn son and you're sworn to our enemies, but you're apparently too honorable by default, no deviousness within you at all. Jaime is obviously taken with you so you wouldn't be marrying a complete stranger, which is more than what most ladies can say for themselves." 

Brienne stared at his father in a state of shock then her gaze slid to Jaime’s, who knew his face looked the same. He should've seen this coming, how his father strongly advocated for Jaime to be released from his Kingsguard oath just an hour ago. The anticipation of what he'd have to do temporarily blinded Jaime from his father's true motives. She seemed to gather her wits after a long pause then said, ”I... will have to think about this, my lord Hand. It is all so much to digest in so little time, please grant me a few days for me to come to terms with everything and to consider your request.”

“Yes, of course my lady. You’ve had a very taxing day so Jaime and I will take our leave of you. Write to you father Lord Selwyn with what I've just proposed. You’ll do well to think about everyone’s best interests, including your own,” Tywin replied. “I do hope you make the right choice. Come, Jaime."

And just like that, Lord Tywin turned around and marched to the door. Jaime internally debated with himself on whether he should stay here with her or leave her to her thoughts, when Tywin cut in with one last demand.

"And if by chance you do take moon tea, Lady Brienne, I'll know. I'll give you to the end of the week to decide."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a guestimation on show! Brienne's age, since in the books she's 15 years younger than Jaime but like 8-10 years younger in the show so I just split the difference here. Writing Tywin was my most anticipated part of this story, he's such a deliciously evil character. Who thinks Brienne is gonna take the moon tea? If she doesn't, will she have twins or triplets? Let me know what you think in the comments!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Jaime take individual time to themselves in the aftermath of their coupling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some plot and pining from our two favorite knights. This chapter is a trial run of sorts because its longer than what I usually write so I'd like to see the response to it. Thanks for all the great comments last chapter! And now without further ado...

The room in Maegor's Holdfast that had been granted to Brienne was of middling space and moderately furnished but it was such a welcome sight after the exhausting day she had. She all but collapsed into her bed, curling into a ball then did something that was long overdue for her; she cried. The stress and guilt of what happened today surrounded her, she just couldn't help but sob. First she lost her maidenhead to Ser Jaime due to a deadly potion, then she's an expecting mother, finally she's threatened ambiguously by arguably the most dangerous man in Westeros to surrender to marriage or else she'd reap the consequences.

It wasn't the proposal that bothered her, for Ser Jaime was perhaps the best match that has ever been made for her, it was what his father Lord Tywin implied. It was what Brienne knew to be true, even if she couldn't readily admit it. The Seven Kingdoms could scarcely accept a freakish, mannish and unmarried lady who plays at knighthood but they would react even worse to the same woman impregnated by the oathbreaking Kingslayer. She cried even harder when she realized that Tywin was right, that people will never know what happened to Brienne or why Ser Jaime had slain Aerys Targaryen: they'll only see what they care to see, an ugly wench who never learned her place, the murderer of Lord Renly and whore of the Kingslayer.

_Would I even be accepted back home? Oh gods, what will Father think?_ The last time Brienne had seen her father Lord Selwyn was when she boarded the ship to take her mainland so she could join Renly's ranks at Highgarden and he had come to see her off. It had been a bittersweet farewell. After Ser Humfrey and his broken bones years ago, Selwyn had not pestered her about marriage again but she could tell he was still holding out hope deep down. Seeing his only heir go out to fight in a war broke his heart and while she was sad to go, she knew it was her duty and couldn't have stayed sheltered at Tarth when her King needed her more. _Now he'll get everything he wished for_ , Brienne thought dryly as the last of her tears ran down her face. 

It was late in the day when Brienne finished crying, suddenly feeling dirty in her own skin. The act of fucking had left her sore, sweaty and all wet with bodily fluids between her legs. She called for the one handmaid Jaime managed to get her, Elana if she remembered correctly, to run her a bath before supper. Elana was a skinny strawberry-blonde lowborn girl of one-and-twenty hailing from a village near Highgarden. She was also a handmaid to one of Lady Margaery's cousins, so her time was split between her and Brienne. Elana didn't talk much but she was nice enough and averted her eyes as Brienne undressed and sank into the tub, the hot water soothing her instantly. 

"Would ya like any scented oils or soaps for ya bath m'lady?" Elana asked timidly.

"No thank you, I'd just like to get clean," Brienne said. "I've had a very tiring day... Will you please arrange for a meal to be sent up? I'm not particular for any specific choice tonight."

"Of course," said Elana, who curtsied and left Brienne alone to her bath. As she scrubbed her skin red to wash away the sweat and grime of today, she thought of the bath she had shared with Jaime at Harrenhal. If someone were to tell her back then what would happen between them only a month later she would've scoffed and brushed it off, likely believing it to be a great jape. The whole situation still astounded her and Brienne felt as if she was watching herself and today's events occur like an out of body experience. _Did I actually beg for Ser Jaime to fuck me?_ She cringed at her former wantonness, even though she knew she wasn't in her right mind when the potion had defiled her. 

She wondered what Jaime thought of the whole matter. Did he regret helping her, regret bedding someone other than the queen? Did he internally balk when his father proposed a union between them, displeased at the fact he'd be tied to Brienne the Beauty forever? What would he even think of her now after her gaudy show of lust during their coupling? Will he pressure her to take moon tea or let her make her own decision? _What even was her decision?_

Brienne shook the incessant thoughts out of her mind. Ser Jaime was honorable, he couldn't have just let her die so Her Grace should be able to understand that. And if it came down to it, maybe he would marry her if he had to protect her honor in the eyes of the court and Westeros. She didn't know if he'd like to be a father (again) to her babes but if she kept them, he'd treat them with respect and honor, as he had with her. 

The supper Elana had procured for her was the breast and thigh of a chicken with gravied mashed potatoes, and steamed peas and carrots. Suddenly ravenous, she quickly plowed through half of the meal before realizing how hungry she was. The Arbor Gold wine Jaime had given her was the only thing she had after their activities, her stomach rolling nervously to ingest anything else. 

"Elana," Brienne said suddenly, calling for the young woman behind her. "Would you mind answering a question for me?"

"Anything, m'lady," Elena answered, startled that her normally reserved lady was initiating a conversation with her.

"Say something sudden and unplanned is thrust solely upon you," Brienne spoke carefully, afraid to slip up in front of her. "And it has a momentous effect on your current life. This something will have both good and bad results and you're faced with making a choice between something that could either get rid of the problem or keeping it and riding out the consequences. However, no matter which you choose, your life will be changed forever. What would you do?"

Elana thought on it for a long moment then finally replied, "I think it depends on what it is I'd be keeping or ridding of, m'lady. And... if it could have a good result, maybe I'd take the risk and hold on to it. Anything good should be worth it, I think."  
  


The handmaid’s sentimental reasoning made sense but it still left Brienne with a sense of foreboding. “Thank you Elana. That was very insightful.” She finished her dinner and Elana left with the dishes and to go attend to Margaery’s cousin.   
  


Brienne essentially had three options, the same Lord Tywin had listed out for her: Option one, take moon tea but suffer the consequences to her reputation, implicating her honor and virtue as a lady; Option two, let her babes grow in her womb but stay unmarried, no possible union between her and Ser Jaime; or option three, marry Ser Jaime thereby legitimizing their babes but tether herself to House Lannister forever...

She laid in bed, watching the moon peak out over the clouds above the city and considered each option carefully. If she went with her first option, she’d be free from the bonds of motherhood but Brienne’s reputation would be undoubtedly ruined beyond repair. If Ser Loras was so convinced that she was the one to murder Renly, and the rest of the realm thought so as well, then there would be absolutely no hope for her as if she were known as an adulterer and a murderer. Her house would also be implicated and her father would probably disown and disinherit her. However, she would be free to complete her mission to protect and return the Stark girls back to the North without any babes to hinder her. The second option was even more risque, if chosen she’d be a mother to bastards and the Kingslayer’s bastards at that. Angry tears reformed in her eyes at the very hypocrisy of the world; only highborn lords were allowed to produce as many bastards as they liked and never face much judgement for doing so, just look at Lord Stark and Prince Oberyn Martell of Dorne. _And Queen Cersei_... Brienne shook the treasonous thought away, she knew what Her Grace and Jaime shared was different and she shouldn’t cast judgement onto him.

The third option was highly idealistic but it would save her honor, House Tarth's reputation and her babes from societal ostracism, and Ser Jaime from even more criticism to his honor as well. In the eyes of the court and to the rest of the Seven Kingdoms, Ser Jaime was lawfully released from the Kingsguard by his king to take his place as heir to Casterly Rock and he'd married to the homely Brienne the Beauty. As man and wife, they wouldn't have to bed each other for their heirs have already been conceived. Brienne would be Lady Lannister, tethered to his house and all of the good and bad connotations with it. She'd be yielding to the bonds of her station as a lady, as a wife and as a mother, the very roles she's been consciously avoiding for quite some time now. _Could I even be a good mother?_ If her first betrothed young lord had lived, she'd be a mother at least twice over by now. Brienne's mother had died when she was eight and the various mistresses Lord Selwyn had taken weren't particularly maternal towards her so it's not like she had a very good example of motherhood growing up. The memories of her mother have faded over the years and only left a vaguely warm feeling when she thought about her but recently Brienne had come to associate motherhood with Lady Catelyn.

_Lady Catelyn was so strong, with a woman's kind of courage, she'd know what to do in this situation,_ Brienne thought dismally. During the short time Brienne had spent in her company, Lady Catelyn spoke of each of her five children with such reverence and love, her grief for them permeating through ever word. Brienne learned she was originally supposed to marry Lord Stark’s older brother but when he died, her betrothal went to Ned instead, wedding and bedding a stranger. It was her duty and like all things, Lady Catelyn did it fearlessly. Brienne begrudgingly acknowledged the point Lord Tywin made about most ladies essentially marrying strangers, it happened to Lady Catelyn but if Brienne agreed, it wouldn't be the case for her.  
  


Brienne closed her eyes and tried to picture herself as Jaime’s wife, Lady Lannister of Casterly Rock but soon found that she just couldn't. While the bedding had already happened, the wedding is what truly daunted her the most. Jaime deserved a befitting wife, a dainty lady who matched him in looks and propriety, not a ugly wife, towering two inches above him who prefers to dress in mans mail rather than in dresses. Still, she drifted off to sleep with a small smile on her face, dreaming about little lion cubs, happy and free, running around a castle by the sea, their parents loving and unencumbered....

* * *

Jaime awoke before everyone else, the morning sun not yet fully risen over the city. His surroundings were barely familiar, his things having been moved from the White Sword Tower to a spacious apartment within Maegor's Holdfast. _Thanks to dear old Father,_ Jaime thought sardonically as he struggled to dress quickly for his morning outing. 

Thankfully, no one was in the corridors when Jaime left and made his way to Brienne's quarters. He knew he'd be inconveniencing her by waking her at this hour but he knew he had to see her off the record, away from everyone's private eyes before she could be prematurely persuaded into a decision. 

He knocked on the door, waited for a moment. Nothing. Jaime put his ear by the door and heard no movement from the other side. Again, he knocked and softly said, "Brienne, it's me."

Finally, he heard her move from inside and then she cracked open the door to address him. "Ser Jaime, why- what are you doing here?"

"I wouldn't have come if it weren't important, my lady," Jaime replied, definitively ignoring the accidental double meaning from his words, and Brienne opened the door to usher him in quickly.

Once inside, he turned towards her and quickly took her in. She was dressed in her rumpled bed clothes, hair tousled from sleep but she was otherwise well and alert. By the gods, just the sight of her put a stirring in his pants. The memory of what they did yesterday stayed with him in the forefront of his mind for the rest of the day and well into the night, leaving Jaime hot and bothered.

"My lady, apologies for waking you at this hour but this is an urgent matter that couldn't wait," Jaime started, staring into her questioning eyes. "As you know, my father made the proposal of joining our houses yesterday after.... I know he told you to think about it but I came here to reassure you of another option...."

"And which option is that?" Brienne hesitantly inquired.

"... Moon tea," said Jaime sheepishly and took in her shocked expression. "In the past, I have been able to discreetly procure it from some wood witches, so if you choose-"

"Are you asking me to take it?" Brienne interrupted him with a sharp inhale.

"No! No, no, Brienne, I just," Jaime stammered out. "I don't want you to be seen out searching for such a thing, you'd implicate yourself even more. I didn't know what you're going to choose so I was just offering my assistance...."

"Would you... mind terribly if I told you I am strongly considering taking moon tea..." Brienne asked meekly. "They are _your_ babes after all..."

Jaime let her question wash over him like wave of cold water. "I- no, Brienne, no," he said with a sinking feeling in his gut. "It's your body, your choice. I thank you kindly for even considering me in your predicament."

"... Well, I'm still undecided," Brienne revealed, shocking him again. "Lord Tywin practically ambushed me with his offer. The suddenness of my illness and your release of the Kingsguard was quite convenient for him, wouldn't you say?"

"I already know what you're going to say and no, he really had nothing to do with it this time," Jaime said firmly. "I asked him of such after we took our leave of you yesterday."

_"Father, you were Hand of the King to Aerys, how did you never come to know of such a crude device in his possession?" Jaime asked as soon as they passed the threshold into his office in the Tower of the Hand._

_Tywin pretended not to hear him, taking his sweet time to walk over to his desk and finally answered him after sitting down. "Jaime... Aerys Targaryen kept his personal matters separate from his professional, royal duties. I only rarely heard vague rumors about it but I never took stock in them because I was too busy running the realm for him. Eventually, Prince Rhaegar married the Dornish princess and Aerys had Viserys and the girl after some time, so it wasn't a longstanding issue."_

_"And Pycelle never went blabbing to you?"_

_A faint smirk appeared on Tywin's face as he replied, "No, the Mad King swore him to secrecy... and because I never asked."_

Brienne slowly nods, seemingly satisfied with his answer. "Alright but I must also ask... what do you think of the marriage proposal he made?"

"My lady, I am not... averse to the notion. Protecting you and the babes from scrutiny would be my main priority, as your husband," Jaime proclaimed with determination. It was the truth and he's always been honest with her and wouldn't stop now.

The expression she wore was not unlike the one she had when he expressed his reason for kingslaying in the bathtubs of Harrenhal. It wasn't often Jaime got to see her true emotions underneath her carefully guarded facade, but he cherished it every single time. 

Looking away from him, she finally says,"Thank you for your honesty and for the offer of moon tea. I will take the rest of the day to consider everything."

Sensing her growing need to be alone, Jaime nods in assent. "Of course, take your time. If you need anything, I've been moved to an apartment in this tower, on the royals side, so do not hesitate to come see me." _Please,_ he adds silently.

With one last lingering look between them, Jaime turned and left. The walk back was just as silent as before but Jaime couldn't help but think of what she had just told him. The chances of her taking moon tea were high, and truly he wouldn't fault her if she took it, for her pregnancy was thrust upon her without warning, but deep down he warmed at the thought of her being his wife. Did she deserve better than him and better than House Lannister? Absolutely. But the very thought of Brienne staying by his side for the rest of their lives balanced out the negative aspects perfectly. Lost in his head, he didn't even register the familiar guest gracefully perched on the divan with a pitcher of wine and two goblets when he opened the door to his room.

"Sweet brother, how nice of you to finally make my acquaintance. Why don't you close the door and come closer, we have much to discuss," Cersei said, twisting her pretty mouth into a sour sneer, then tipped the back of her head to gulp down a hefty amount of wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’d like to address some comments that were made regarding the initial plot device known as Servus Targaeryous. This potion was made by the Mad King for his wife Queen Rhaella to take. Those well versed in ASOIAF knowledge all know that Aerys repeatedly raped and abused Rhaella during their marriage and she went many years having issues conceiving children. Now I won’t pretend to be a scientist so the ingredients the alchemists and red witches used in the potion were designed to release multiple eggs out of the Fallopian tubes and the spell cast on the potion was for the woman to mate with the first man she set her eyes on it. Of course, Aerys knows his wife (or any woman) wouldn’t be able to resist him then so that’s why there had to be some magic involved. Pycelle is enough of a creep to keep such a thing around for an unsuspecting woman, like Brienne to discover. I know it’s far fetched but in a fictional world filled with dragons, ice zombies, giants and red witches please just suspend your disbelief here like you did with the show/books, ok?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime faces off against Cersei and gets advice from Tyrion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and continuing thus far! This is what the kids call "a filler chapter" but it's still pretty important.

The rays of early morning sunlight illuminated his sweet sister in a angelic halo, but with the look on her face, an angel was the farthest thing Cersei could've been at the moment. On a whim, Jaime decided to play dumb with her, just to gauge how she really felt about the new development in his life, because what else would she have come to visit him for? It was always _him_ to go to her first and never the other way around.

"Good morning to you too, Cersei," Jaime said blithely. "Is something amiss? Don't you think it's a little bit too early to be drinking?"

Her green eyes flashed at his comment and he narrowly dodged away from the flying goblet she suddenly threw at him, which shattered on the wall behind him. "Well, if it isn't too early for you to sneak into your cows room for another fuck, then I guess it's fine since all propriety has gone out of the window. What's the matter, your wench wanted more of your cock so you obliged? Do you have no shame, Jaime? Were your wits hacked off along with your hand?"

_That's strike one._ "Last time I checked, it wasn't immoral to visit a friend in their room," Jaime replied calmly, keeping his distance from his twin.

"Oh, is that what she is to you, a _friend_ ," Cersei spat out the word as she poured herself more wine in the second goblet. "Wouldn't your whore perhaps suit better? The Kingslayer's whore, yes that's more fitting."

With that, Jaime's casual demeanor melted immediately."Lady Brienne is a highborn lady and you will refer and treat her as such. She is a guest here and deserves no disrespect, especially for what befell her."

"Disrespect is what will come to her when the news of what happened yesterday spreads around. What sort of lady loses her maindenhead to man fresh out of the Kingsguard, if not a whore?"

_Strike two,_ Jaime thought and stared at her in disbelief. "You'd tell the court the truth of what we did? I had to save her life, Cersei, there was no way around it."

"You're such a fool, you and father, Tyrion could've done the job since he apparently refuses to fuck the Stark girl. Your tall sow would have been a challenge for the Imp but he could've managed. But no, Father got his golden heir back and you got to take her maindenhead and put a bastard in her belly."

"You didn't answer my question."

"If your wench doesn't take moon tea and leave the capital soon, then I'm afraid certain things will be said around the castle that could be damaging to the both of you," Cersei said slyly. "But if she does, then you might not have much to worry about."

Was Cersei implying that if Brienne didn't rid herself of the babes and departed from his life forthwith, then she would personally oversee the gossip about them and vice versa? It was a deplorable suggestion, appalling Jaime that his sister would stoop so low in her anger as to try and tinker with the lives of others? Just a fortnight ago, Jaime was bursting at the seams, ready to reunite with her and was subsequently rebuffed. She was indignant and he was confused. 

"I don't care for what you're implying, but Brienne will make her own decision in time, and you and Father will just have to respect it," Jaime said adamantly. 

Cersei had just lifted up her goblet to take a sip but paused when she heard his reply. "Father? What does he have to do with it?"

_Shit._ There was no point in lying to her, especially knowing how many castle informers were sworn to House Lannister. "Yesterday, after we... finished, Father came by and made a... proposition of sorts to her. He proposed a union between our houses Lannister and Tarth, that Brienne marry me and our babes be heirs to both of our houses."

If fury had a face, it would've been what Cersei looked like at this moment. She gripped her wine glass tight and sharply inhaled and exhaled through her nose only. Finally, after a long moment of suspense she spoke through gritted teeth. "Father must be playing a great jape or he has suddenly turned over a new altruistic leaf, because there is no way in the Seven Hells that he'd offer that fucking whore to be your wife. The shambling, sword-swinging sow could never hope to be Lady Lannister of the Rock, to stand in where our lady mother Joanna once did, it must all be a jest or-"

_Third strike, she's out._ "How dare you insult her like that? Can't you see that this is a chance to save her honor from any more disdain, lest she take moon tea and suffer through the incessant gossip about me and her?" Jaime couldn't believe what he heard. Why was Cersei acting like this? Sure, he knew she wouldn't be happy at the thought of him marrying someone else, just as he were when she married Robert, but couldn't she at least see the logic in the proposal? _This is more than just jealousy_ , Jaime realized, _she's inexplicably and maddeningly enraged._

"My gods, you actually care about her, don't you? Qyburn told me about what happened at the bear pit of Harrenhal," Cersei revealed with a grimace. "Why else would you go to such lengths to defend such a creature, if not for love?"

The memory of Arthur Dayne's sword reverently touching his teenage shoulder as he knighted him with the vows, _In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent,_ flashed through his mind. Jaime knew he had done the honorable thing by saving her, but an unknown and unrealized emotion sat deep within as he thought about that fateful day. "I admire her, I respect her, and I will do my duty to our House and by her if it comes down to it," Jaime admitted. "I've never wanted a wife or children but I won't spurn either of them since this was a chance circumstance."

Unexpectedly, Cersei visibly softened with his words. "Are Joff, Tommen and Myrcella not enough for you, ser? I am your wife in all but name and yet you'd forsake me and our children for your cow?"

" _Your_ children, Cersei, not ours. You passed your get off as Robert's and made sure I kept my distance." It came pouring out of Jaime now, all of the bitter feelings he'd held inside for years. "Your children got their drunken cuckolded King and their Kingsguard Nuncle Jaime."

"And what about me?"

Stumped, Jaime could only stare at her whilst raking his mind for an appropriate answer. Cersei took his silence, or lack of a response, as his reply so she straightened up, stood, collected her wine decanter and goblet and brushed past him to the door with a final command. "When you finally come to your wits and have sent your beast of Tarth away, then you can come to me. The sight of you even now makes me sick."

The Jaime of old would've done everything in his power to please his twin and bed her afterwards but it seemed to him now that nothing wasn't that simple now. Was he truly the changed one, or was Cersei? Her behavior yesterday didn't shock him as much compared to how she acted today. They were two-halves of a whole, she had always said so, but what happens when another comes along to intrude between such a bond? _Brienne is not an intruder,_ Jaime thought as he sat down on a plush chair, _maybe Cersei is._

Nevertheless, Jaime spent most his morning in deep thought and didn't realize time had passed until his squire Peck came in to help dress him. Peck arranged for servants to bring food so that Jaime could break his fast and aided him in dressed in a velvet red jerkin with golden embroidery and black breeches.

"Time to dress the part of an heir. No more heavy mail and chain to wear everyday, right Peck?" Jaime asked the faithful young lad. 

"Aye m'lord. What is your will today?"

"I'll probably lunch with my brother if he can pencil me in between his business," Jaime replied. 

Thankfully, an hour later, he was able to meet with Tyrion in his apartment he shared with Sansa, the breezy sea air wafting through the balcony. A pretty Essosi handmaiden served them their lunch but before leaving, she shared a meaningful and lingering look with his brother.

"Who's she?" Jaime inquired quizzically.

Tyrion looked up from his glass of Arbor Red at him and hesitated. "My wife's handmaiden."

"...Are you sure?"

"Why, aren't you awfully inquisitive today? Because if we're asking questions, then I do have my fair share for you," Tyrion's impish rebuttal making himself smile. "The first of which being: What was it like _healing_ your dear lady knight yesterday? Be sure to include all of the details."

Jaime shook his head, both amused and disgusted at his brother's antics. He was the Imp after all. "All you need to know is that she's fully healed and healthy now." 

"And likely pregnant," Tyrion added with a gleam in his eye. "I sure hope Father wrung Pycelle out dry for such a blunder."

"Well, there wasn't much Father could do to him, seeing as it what all just an accident. Afterwards he came back and practically belittled Brienne before springing on her a marriage proposal between me and her."

Tyrion's eyebrows rose high in shock. "So wait- she's not going to take moon tea? She actually agreed to be your wife?"

"That's the thing, Tywin is giving her a few days to decide, " Jaime corrected him. "He intimidated Brienne with the fact that she's the only heir to Tarth and that there will be rumors about what we've done- with Varys, Qyburn and Cersei all knowing."

"The Spider only uses information for the good of the realm, not for petty gossip, but how did our sweet sister react to this?" Tyrion asked, his voice inflecting sarcasm when referring to Cersei.

Jaime sighed tiredly then relayed to his brother what happened earlier. By the end, Tyrion had an inscrutable look on his face and let a long moment pass between them before replying. 

"Do not heed a single word Cersei says, Jaime. She's a manipulative, spiteful, broken woman incapable of empathizing with others—"

"That's not true!" Jaime leapt to her defense automatically.

However, Tyrion refused to back down, seemingly undeterred. "You were gone for a year and a half therefore you did not see the many horrid deeds Cersei committed. For starters, she and Joffrey dismissed Ser Barristan on the ridiculous grounds of age when we all know he was more than capable of doing his duty, regardless of his age. After that, she never once interfered when Sansa was physically beat by Joffrey's Kingsguard every time the Young Wolf won a battle. Then, one night after we sent Myrcella away, Cersei brought a whore whom she thought I was affiliated with to be tortured as payback for securing the Dornish aid. And do you see this," Tyrion paused to point at the long unsightly scar on the left side of his face. "Courtesy of one of her swords from the night of the Battle of the Blackwater."

“That’s absurd, why would she want to have you killed?”

”Oh, I don’t know, why would she relentlessly bully and spurn me when we growing up at the Rock?” Tyrion asked rhetorically. Jaime’s eyes fell down to his lap but raised up when he continued. “You were the only one to protect me when we younger but you never truly saw her for what she is. I don’t know if you ever will.”

Tyrion’s imploring gaze added with the fact that there was no trace of mischievousness in his voice gave Jaime much to ponder. Before he could respond, his younger brother started again.

“Tell me, since you've returned here, have you and Cersei reunited in _that way?_ Please, no details," Tyrion asked him directly.

Jaime cleared his throat and shook his head twice. "No, we haven't." 

"Well, she's obviously jealous because Lady Brienne had you before she did, but maybe it's for the best, after all she was enjoying herself too much with La—" Tyrion stopped short abruptly and clamped his lips together. 

Confusion rippled through Jaime as he squinted at Tyrion who took an overlarge gulp of his wine. "Tyrion... what were you going to say?"

".... With Lancel, our cousin, Jaime," said Tyrion, sighing heavily. "A lot happened while you were away... she moved on without any remorse, so why shouldn't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One out of the million things I couldn't appreciate from the show was them omitting the scene of Tyrion telling Jaime about Cersei's infidelity from ASOS. It's a turning point in the books for Jaime and his relationship with her but no, instead we got them doing it in the Lord Commander's room 🙄  
> Next up, Brienne comes to a decision.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne finally comes to a hard decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind and encouraging messages last chapter! I struggled a lot with this chapter (I don't know why?? Its actually quite short) but its finally here so. Hope you all enjoy it!

The scroll attached to the raven arrived by midday and when Brienne spotted her father's seal stamped on the front, she scrambled to hastily open it. She unrolled it and read over its contents.

_Dear Brienne,_

_I hope this letter finds you in good health. I was stationed at Storm's End to help alleviate the siege when Grand Maester Pycelle's distressing raven found me. While I am very glad Ser Jaime was able to save you, I still need to come to the Red Keep and see you for myself. Accompanying me are three men-at-arms from Tarth and we've made a considerable distance so far, having just passed the Wendwater today. I suspect we will reach the city by the end of the week. Please do not do anything rash until we meet again._

_Love, your lord father Selwyn Tarth._

She read the letter once, then twice and then again for good measure. Her father was on his way here and if his letter was any indication, he wasn't happy. What parent would be exactly pleased with this situation, save for Tywin Lannister? Her stomach fluttered nervously and Brienne tried not to think about what was growing in her at that very moment.

Selwyn would undoubtedly want to talk about what happened and give his opinion on what her decision should be. Maybe he'd come to respect her choice over time after Brienne reasons with him the benefits of taking moon tea immediately. Sure, she knew he'd be disappointed but he'd get over it eventually. Unbidden, the memory of the aftermath of Ser Humfrey's broken bones came over her again, how her father had looked at her like she was a stranger, with agonized finality. He didn't say it then but with that look Brienne knew, she had disappointed him, she had shamed him and... she just couldn't do that again.

_You'll do well to think about everyone's best interests_ , Lord Tywin's suggestion from two days ago rang out clear in her head. Her father deserved heirs and Ser Jaime deserved no more public slights to his honor. Brienne had to swallow her selfish disagreements and do the right thing, for others if not for herself. Besides, it was past time she do her duty to her house. She steeled herself and pocketed the scroll then called out for Elana. "Would you fetch me parchment, a quill and ink, please?"

A few minutes later, Brienne finished writing her reply and re-read it carefully.

_Dear Father,_

_Your raven was very much appreciated and reassuring. Lord Tywin proposed a union of marriage between Ser Jaime and I to legitimize the children conceived and after some deliberation, I have decided to accept. When you arrive, we'll further negotiate it with the Lord Hand. Wishing you and your men a safe and quick journey.  
_

_Love, your daughter Brienne._

Brienne purposefully kept the letter short and sweet to give Selwyn temporary peace of mind. She rolled the scroll up and stamped it with the symbol of Tarth . 

"Go to Grand Maester Pycelle's office and have him send this letter off," Brienne ordered the handmaiden and handed her the letter. "Afterwards, please send for a page from the Tower of the Hand and inform them that Lady Brienne requests an audience with Lord Tywin."

* * *

Brienne held her head high as she followed the Lannister page to the Tower of the Hand. She hadn't left her room in three days out of fear of the rumors and possible scorn. She knew that it was basically futile and that was why she had come to a decision so soon, after warring with herself since then. 

The long walk all the way up the Tower was strenuous but nothing Brienne couldn't handle. She made her way to the Hand's main office, where a guard was posted outside the door. He opened the door and announced her arrival. 

"Send her in," a commanding voice replied and Brienne was ushered in. There she saw Lord Tywin seated behind a desk and Ser Jaime sitting before him, who shot straight out of his seat when he saw her enter.

"My lady!" Jaime exclaimed and immediately bowed low. Tywin's gaze left her's to give Jaime a pointed look and a scowl but his son only had eyes for Brienne. Ignoring the slight blush growing on her cheeks, she bowed in return and made her way across the room to them.

The Hand of the King got right to business as soon as she sat down next to Jaime. "Lady Brienne, I assume you're here to give us an answer to my proposition. It's been a few days, surely you thought long and hard on a decision in that time."

"I have," Brienne said, nodding. "Today I received a raven from my lord father, who is on his way here, and that pushed me to my answer. I have decided to accept your marriage proposal to Ser Jaime." She heard a sharp inhaled breath from the man beside her but she determinedly kept her eyes on Tywin.

"Excellent, I'm pleased you made the right choice," Tywin said, with a hint of what Brienne could call a smile. "Now that you've accepted, we have pressing matters to attend to. The royal wedding between the King and Lady Margaery will take place in four days so the sooner Lord Selwyn arrives, the better. When he arrives, you'll marry the same day so you and Jaime can sit on the king's side of the wedding reception. In the meantime, Jaime will arrange for your Septa Donyse and her seamstresses to tailor and fit you for your bridal dress and I will sort out other minute details, like conferring with the High Septon and whatnot."

The overflow of information numbly washed over her but she felt herself nodding along. "My lord, I have two requests to make of you regarding this," Brienne tentatively asked.

Tywin didn't physically react to her inquiry but his jaw clenched, almost imperceptibly. "Well, my lady as long as it is within reason, I will grant whatever you request to the best of my ability."

"After the reception, there will be no bedding ceremony," Brienne says firmly and chances a look at Jaime, who signaled his agreement with a slight incline of his head.

A brief moment passes in which Tywin contemplates her request, then he answers, "Done. And your second request?"

Brienne takes a deep breath and tries to summon some of the womanly courage Lady Catelyn had. "When I birth the babes... if one or all of them happen to be girls, they will not be disinherited from Casterly Rock or Tarth."

Tywin's eyebrows rose but his neutral expression didn't change. "My lady, I think you're mistaking the Westerlands for Dorne, for that is only place where elder highborn ladies are allowed to inherit their family lands. You said 'if' and while the chances of your children being girls are moderate, that's assuming you won't ever share your marriage bed with Jaime afterwards, which is nigh doubtful. And if by chance you only ever bear girls, then the eldest will marry a suitable lord who will rule the Rock in her stead."

Red warmth bloomed upon Brienne's cheeks as she felt the hot lash of embarrassment from his reprimanding. _There's just no winning with this man._ Thankfully, Jaime came to her rescue, sensing her discomfort. "You don't have to worry about such things now, Brienne," he said reassuringly and reached over to pat her hand briefly before taking his hand away. "That's all in the future. Let's just focus now on getting through the wedding."

She nodded, touched by his fleeting gesture of physical support. "Of course."

"If there's no more questions or concerns from either of you," Tywin paused to observe them then started again when neither spoke. "Then I think this meeting is adjourned."

And just like that, as if he flipped a switch, Lord Tywin dismissed them both with a wave of his hand. The newly betrothed couple got up, bowed in unison and exited his office. They walked down the Tower in a near awkward silence until halfway when Jaime broke in with a question.

"Brienne, you've considered this from all angles? This is what you want?" Jaime asks and casts Brienne an imploring look.

She stopped walking and met his look full on. "Yes, I'm sure about this," she replied, fully aware that she evaded his second question, and noticed his apprehensive expression. "Are you sure about it? Jaime, by the looks of you, I'd say you're-"

"Me? Nothing,it's just that I have other matters on my mind right now," Jaime hurriedly cut her off and explained himself. 

Barely convinced, Brienne shrugged and mentally stored it away for later. She didn't blame Jaime if he had some doubts left in his mind for she did as well. 

When they finally reached the bottom of the Tower, they faced each other to say goodbye and Brienne felt a tangible undercurrent pass between them. Jaime must've felt it too since he seemed slightly nervous. As she stared into his perfectly sculpted face, she realized she'd have the privilege of doing so for the rest of their lives. _But then again,_ she thought glumly, _so would he._

"Well I uh- I have to go and convene with Septa Donyse about your wedding dress now. So I'll be seeing you later- with the Septa for the fitting, of course," Jaime rambled on and caught himself.

His strange behavior disconcerted Brienne but it added levity to their farewell, so they nodded at each other then promptly took off in opposite directions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The Wendwater is a river on the Kingsroad in between King’s Landing and Storm’s End  
> As we all know, Brienne is a very selfless person so while I do think she'd struggle with a decision of this magnitude, ultimately she would want to do right by her father and her house and for Jaime too, since she loves him. The show kinda erased of what made Brienne such a compelling character in the books and while i do love show!Brienne, they quite literally forgot she's the sole heir to Tarth, hence our canon show ending. Big yikes, right? Anyways, the next chapter will hopefully not take long to post after this one! Thanks again for reading!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding dress mania and the Lannisters meet the Tarth patriarch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far!

It was after the fifth dress when Jaime's patience started to wear thin. Brienne, bless her heart, visibly started to show her frustration by the second dress. Armed with seemingly endless bundles of fabric, and two lowborn seamstresses, Septa Donyse earnestly worked for three days tailoring the perfect bridal dress for Brienne.

Jaime peeked in for about an hour or two each day to monitor progress and to provide feedback for their work. The first dress was too low-cut, the second was too gaudy, and the third's sky blue and bright red colors clashed on Brienne's fair skin. The fourth gown was actually a remake of the third but altered to a dark blue that faded to maroon on the sleeves and the hem. But the engaged couple mutually agreed that it was too garish for the wedding so they set it aside for her to wear for the King's wedding ceremony. With it now being three days of fittings, Jaime was determined that the fifth dress had to be one, for both of their sakes.

He sat in a plush armchair and listened to struggle between them taking place behind the privacy screen. Jaime cleared his throat and shifted, hoping that they weren't giving Brienne a hard time.

"How's it going back there?" Jaime asked.

Brienne took a moment to respond. "Fine, it's almost done." Her voice didn't inflect anything on the contrary.

He nodded, although he knew she couldn't see it. "Good, what does it look like?" While Jaime did genuinely care about what her dress looked like, he took special care in making his interest known to the smallfolk in the room. They should be none the wiser that this wasn't anything more or less than how it appeared to be.

A small sigh resounded from behind the screen. "You'll see it soon enough but it's blue, just as you requested," Brienne replied.

Jaime knew of her disinterest towards pretty dresses and gowns but he secretly reveled in seeing her like this. He had shamelessly solicited Donyse to include some blue in her dress because the color brought out Brienne's astonishing eyes. She deserved to look as radiant as he thought her to be on their wedding day. Lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice Brienne and her dressmakers come out from behind the screen and stood before the looking glass in front of him. He stood up immediately and took her all in.

The fifth gown Brienne was currently wrapped in was an off-white, almost cream colored short-sleeve dress, streamlined with blue and gold, the combined colors of their houses. It was perfectly tailored to her and Jaime could tell by the slight flare of her hips, that she was also wearing a corset underneath. Sapphire blue moons adorned the dress along with gold suns and lions. 

"How does she look, m'lord?" Septa Donyse asked earnestly, fluffing up the dress from the back.

"She's resplendent," Jaime gushed then caught himself. "I mean- the dress is, of course. I dare say this one might be it. What do you think, my lady?"

Brienne's eyes went back and forth between Jaime's gaze to her reflection in the looking glass. "Well... on me, it is decent enough. You did a wonderful job, as always Septa Donyse."

"Nonsense child, you look more than adequate," Donyse admonished her. "Your betrothed is staring at you as if he wants to ravish you!" The two seamstresses with her tittered highly and shared an amused look. _Little do they know...._

Jaime chuckled too, to play along. "You're not wrong, my lady." He noticed Brienne's scandalized look so he gave her a quick _just go with it_ eyebrow raise in turn. "My father will compensate you all accordingly, for your lovely work."

The quartet disappeared back behind the privacy screen to help Brienne out of the delicate dress. Soon they all re-emerged, with Brienne now dressed in her usual brown jerkin and blue skirt. As the Septa and seamstresses curtsied to exit, she reached over to her purse and brought out four gold dragons and tipped the two girls two each. They raved their thanks and gratitude and Jaime's heart grew soft at the sight, for he knew smallfolk only very rarely earned such wealth in one day.

However, as soon as they left, a Lannister castle page accosted them before they could be left alone.

"Lord Jaime, Lady Brienne, your presence is needed in the castle grounds. Lord Selwyn of Tarth and his knights have arrived."

* * *

In terms of height, Brienne easily dwarfed in comparison to her lord father. Selwyn Tarth was at least seven feet tall and although he was graying at the temples, his stature and solid posture expressed that he wasn't one to be messed with. Jaime could only hope that he wouldn't be the one to face his ire.

Brienne left his side to approach her father across the courtyard. They exchanged a few inaudible words before meeting in the middle to tenderly embrace. _So that's what it's like to receive affection from your father,_ Jaime thought sardonically. As if on cue, Lord Tywin appeared by his side, flanked by two Lannister guards. Jaime gave his father a hard look but Tywin stared straight ahead.

As the Tarths approached them, he noticed the elder lord's rich midnight blue armor with a great longsword secured to his hip. He seemed to be of age with his father, but unlike Tywin, Selwyn had a full head of white-blond hair and bright blue eyes, just like his daughters. Selwyn warily eyed Tywin and Jaime back and forth as he came to a stop in front of them. He held his gaze even when he and his father bent low to bow.

"Lord Selwyn," Tywin calmly appraised him. "It's been quite long, hasn't it?"

"Seventeen years, to be sure, my Lord Hand," Selwyn coolly responded in a rumble. "We haven't made each others acquaintance since King Robert's coronation."

"Of course," Tywin agreed diplomatically.

Selwyn then met Jaime's eyes and he squinted at him. "Ser Jaime, the last time I saw you, it was the Great Siege of Pyke. If my memory serves me correct, you were fully covered in ironborn blood."

Jaime and Brienne both winced simultaneously, the mental picture not lost on either of them. Yes, he vaguely remembered seeing the towering Stormlord who hovered close to Robert. He steeled himself to recover quickly, for this was a man to not show weakness in front of.

"Aye, my lord, the battle was rather intense that day, as I think you would agree," Jaime replied willingly. 

Sensing the growing tension, Tywin keenly diffused it by saying, "I believe you must be tired from your trip, I'll have my steward find your men suitable rooms in the soldiers barracks. We'll see you to guest chambers in Maegor's Holdfast or perhaps you'd like to convene in the Tower of the Hand with my son and soon to be good-daughter?"

Selwyn's frosty demeanor didn't melt under his father's scrutiny. "The sooner the better, to sort out all of this, why don't you lead the way my Lord Hand?"

With that, the four of them walked away resolutely towards the Tower. Tywin lead the way with Jaime next to him and Brienne with Selwyn taking up the rear. Jaime sensed himself being watching from behind so when they rounded a corner, he took the chance to look. Stormy blue eyes belonging to the Evenstar glared right back at him and Jaime whirled around, anxious to explain everything to him.

Finally, they made it to the office of the Hand of the King. Tywin sat behind his desk and Brienne and Selwyn took the seats facing him. Jaime decided to stand next to Brienne, in an act of solidarity.

"So," Tywin began assertively, "has Lady Brienne made you aware of her acceptance of the marriage proposal between her and Jaime?"

"She has," Selwyn admitted.

"Then with your clear approval, you won't object when your daughter marries him this evening, thereby saving her reputation and yours and legitimizing the heirs they have already conceived."

Selwyn then sighed heavily and ran a hand down his face, clearly distressed. He turned to Brienne and said, "It's just all been so overwhelming. I didn't receive a return missive from Harrenhal after I sent your ransom so I only just found out that you were alive after Maester Pycelle's raven. You must understand that this still a big shock to me. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Brienne swallowed hard then momentarily glanced at Jaime with a pensive expression. "I do, Father. I know I was defiant in the past but this is my only viable option now," she answered firmly.

Her father took a moment to absorb her words then nodded. "Fine. I accept. But why this evening and not the next?"

"It was already arranged for them to marry the day you arrived so that we could all sit on the King's side during his wedding feast tomorrow," Tywin explained. "Lady Brienne's dress has already been made and the carriages have been readied for the trip to Baelor's Sept. Which, speaking of, Lord Selwyn, you were stationed at Storm's End to alleviate the siege on the Tyrell's side? Do you mind explaining why you bent the knee to Renly rather than Stannis?"

"Lord Stannis believes he is the rightful heir to his brother's throne, but we of House Tarth do not support the burning of men alive as he did when he proclaimed himself King," Selwyn replied with a furrow in his brow. "Lord Renly was our liege lord and seemed the better option at the time."

"Yes, at the time," Tywin parroted his words sardonically and the Evenstar stiffened. "In any event, Storm's End will fall within a few days and Stannis has retreated to Dragonstone, licking his wounds with a limited number of supporters. Who is Lord Paramount of the Stormlands when he inevitably passes?"

Selwyn didn't answer so Tywin continued. "House Tarth is descended from the exalted Storm Kings whose claim dates back to the dawn of days. Throughout the years, your house has been instrumental in the success of the stormlands with and have always remained the strongest vassal to House Baratheon, originally a bastard offshoot from the Targaryens." 

"What are you implying, my Lord Hand?" Selwyn inquired.

"What I'm saying, is when Stannis Baratheon dies from the rebellion he instigated, you will be named Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and one of your grandchildren will be your heir to the kingdom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So designing Brienne’s wedding dress was a challenge but I honestly took inspiration from Margaery and Sansa’s wedding dresses (to Joffrey and Tyrion respectively) so if you can imagine something in between those two, then that’s Brienne’s dress.  
> Anyways. Wedding next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited wedding chapter! Part 1 of 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this one! I had to re-write the kiss scene twice after my laptop didn't save it the first time so I hope this rewrite suffices!

After a scented bath and parting her short hair down the middle to look somewhat presentable, Elana and Septa Donyse helped Brienne into her gown. Truly, the dress was beautiful but completely undeserving, for it was truly being wasted on the likes of her. She sighed and raised her feet up so that her handmaiden could put on her slippers. Finally, they dusted a light powder on her face and stepped back to view their work.

"You look wonderful my lady," Donyse declared sincerely. "Lord Jaime is blessed by the Seven to take you for wife."

Brienne blushed thoroughly, not really believing her compliment but accepting it anyways. Unlike Septa Roelle, Donyse had been accepting and made her feel comfortable, in the short time she's been in Brienne's service. She was sad to see her go, but it was practically unheard of for a married lady to have a Septa attend to her.

Just then, a knock resounded from the door and Elana moved to answer it. In came Selwyn, now freshly groomed and wearing a blue and pink doublet, the colors of House Tarth. It had only been an hour since he had arrived and the tense meeting with Lord Tywin and Jaime. After his shocking revelation, Tywin dismissed them to get ready for the wedding ceremony. It was only when Brienne was being preened and primped when she realized that this was actually happening, that she would be actually become Jaime's wife and mother to his legitimized children. She would be cloaked under his protection and their hands would be tied together in holy matrimony. Something that Brienne had been convinced would never happen to her will take place within a few minutes.

"Father, you look so dapper," Brienne greeted him, clearing her mind of her worries.

Selwyn smiled slightly and inclined his head towards her. "Thank you starlight, and you're as beautiful as ever." She resisted the urge to roll her eye's at her fathers compliment.

"You jest, but let's just go and get this over with," Brienne replied and wrapped her arm around her awaiting arm. Together, they made their way out of the Red Keep and into the carriage waiting in the courtyard to take them across the city to the Sept of Baelor. Jaime and the rest of the Lannister party had already ridden ahead to await the bride's arrival.

Selwyn climbed in first, ducking and contorting his body to fit, then Brienne stepped in, with Elana gently pushing in the dress's long train and tucking in by her feet. The door closed then off they went, through the streets and up the Hill of Rhaenys. A silence was held between father and daughter and Brienne could feel his eyes on her as she continued to stare out of the window.

"You may be thinking that you're being forced into this," Selwyn interrupted the quiet suddenly. "But you might as well enjoy it. A lady only gets married once."

"Do you not have any reservations about the Lannisters, father?" Brienne asked, brushing aside his comment.

Her father shifted in his seat and glanced out the window. "Of course I do, but you seem to have spent some time with the Kingslayer and must be acquainted with him enough for you to agree to this. It's Lord Tywin and his schemes I worry about."

Brienne was quick to correct him. "His name is Ser Jaime Lannister, you will not demean your good-son by calling him by that horrid name."

Selwyn raised a single bushy eyebrow at her and nodded after a moment but said nothing. Brienne agreed with him on his assessment on Lord Tywin though. Although, when examined closer, appointing Selwyn to be the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands wasn't that bad of an idea. House Tarth was of age with House Lannister and had existed before the Baratheons. Their marble and stone exports to the rest of the kingdoms and to Essos and their naval endeavors defending the mainland against foreign pirates made their island well renown. Lord Selwyn was an anointed knight and noble lord, who fought with King Robert at the Battle of the Trident and the Siege of Pyke and was a gracious yet firm leader to the people of Tarth. Lord Estermont of Greenstone was too elderly for the job and Houses Selmy and Dondarrion's recent fall from grace didn't exactly endear them but if there was one thing that all Stormland houses agreed on was their respect for Selwyn and House Tarth.

"I will say this," Selwyn started back after some time. "After today, you and I will both need to be more careful. You'll be Lady Lannister and pretty soon, if Lord Tywin wills it, I'll be Lord Paramount. We'll both be entering new phases in our lives and if we are not conscientious, it is like we'll forget our real duty."

"Which is?"  
  


" _Honor above all else_ ," Selwyn recited their houses' words to her in reply and gave her a pointed look. She understood immediately that even though the near-future will likely become difficult for them, it was imperative for them to uphold the values instilled in them.

They spent the rest of the carriage ride in a comfortable silence and finally, it came to a stop and the footman came around to open the door. Selwyn got out first then gave Brienne his hand to help her out. She let out a heavy sigh as she looked up at the grand holy building, realizing there was no backing out of this now. When they reached the top of the stairs, Brienne looked back once more and saw the sun near the western horizon and very few smallfolk milling about.

King Joffrey's Kingsguard opened the heavy doors for them and Brienne got a good look at the modest sized crowd in attendance when they walked in. They closed the grand doors behind them and Selwyn practically tugged her forward down the aisle. Brienne gulped and walked at a careful pace, afraid to trip on the long train behind her. Ahead of them, she spotted Lady Olenna Tyrell with her son Lord Mace but strangely no Margaery or Ser Loras. On the other side, there stood ever-elusive Lord Varys and Grand Maester Pycelle in the second row. In front of them, Lord Tywin impassively stared Brienne and Selwyn down, with Queen Cersei and King Joffrey next to him. Finally, she forced her eyes up to stare at the one person who made all of this worth it. Jaime was as comely as ever, impeccably dressed in a dark red doublet with gold stitching inlaid within and he gazed back at her with that infuriatingly soft and unguarded look he so often regarded her with now.

It could've been a minute or an hour later by the time they got to the alter. Selwyn untangled his hand from hers and gave them smile and a single pat on the shoulder, stepping back to the right side. Brienne glanced back and swept her eyes over the crowd for one last time and noticed Jaime's brother Lord Tyrion with Lady Sansa beside him. The High Septon began by asking for the bridegroom to cloak his bride under his protection. Brienne turned around and Jaime brushed the heavy Lannister cloak over her left shoulder and she automatically brought up the right side with her hand. She caught his eye and he wordlessly thanked her for doing so. The Septon bound their hands together, spoke a short sermon and unbound them before saying, "Now look upon each other and say the words."

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. I am his and he is mine, from this day, until the end of my days," Brienne vowed, holding Jaime's gaze as he proclaimed his vow inversely.

"With this kiss I pledge my love," Jaime murmured and moved closer to her. Brienne, trying her hardest not to panic, watched as he grabbed her hand and leaned forward, his half-lidded eyes moving from her eyes to her mouth. He tilted his head to the right, leaned in and suavely swooped up to take her mouth with his. She vaguely registered the sound of scattered applause sounding off in the background but all she could focus on was him kissing her. Having never been kissed before, Brienne didn't know what to do with her hands so she tentatively brought them up to grip his shoulders. Jaime pressed his lips to hers harder, trailing his palm up her arm and her neck, cradling her jaw and licked her bottom lip. Instinctively, Brienne opened her mouth and his tongue glided against hers, eagerly and enticingly. It wasn't until when they heard the clearing of the High Septon's throat that they broke apart, an even darker flush creeping up on Brienne's face while she avoided her husband's eyes. _What the hell just happened?_

Jaime took her hand again and they made their way down the altar stairs, the newlyweds passing by Selwyn's miffed look, Tywin's scarily smug demeanor and Queen Cersei's affronted expression. Outside, the sun had just set and dusk had settled in the area, a carriage waiting to take them and the other other guests back to the Red Keep. Brienne marveled at how quick the ceremony actually was as they descended the stairs of the sept. The footman opened their carriage and Brienne climbed in first, gathering her dress's long train and tossing it in after her. Then Jaime came in afterwards and the carriage lurched forward to make the trip back to the castle. 

* * *

  
The reception was held in a grand hall within Maegor's Holdfast. Some more nobles who weren't at the wedding attended but the amount of guests didn't exceed the point of being crowded. Jaime and Brienne sat at the head table and the table on Jaime's side sat his father, sister, brother, Lady Sansa, King Joffrey and Prince Tommen. Selwyn sat at the table on Brienne's side with the three men-at-arms who accompanied him to the city. They were served a five-course dinner and Brienne chose to focus completely on eating and not on the thick tension permeating the air due to the man next to her. The ride back was nigh unbearable with little words spoken between them and it was still just as bad. Her lips still tingled with memory of the kiss he gave her and Brienne suddenly reached out to take a sip of the Arbor Red from her glass.

"Do you like the food, my lady?" Jaime asks and Brienne shifts in her seat, aware of all the probing eyes fixated upon them.

"It was quite good," Brienne answered truthfully, grateful for the small talk to distract her from wanting to blurt out, _"Why did you kiss me that way at the Sept?"_

"Yes well, it'll be nothing compared to tomorrow's seventy-seven courses," Jaime replied wryly and spared a glance at His Grace leering at Lady Sansa at the neighboring table. Tomorrow would be the royal wedding, with the reception and lengthy dinner planned to go on throughout the night, it was sure to be a spectacle to remember.

Before Brienne could respond, a discord of string instruments began playing and from the corner of her eye she saw a sharp jerk of Tywin's head. Jaime stood from his seat and held out his hand for her to take. Brienne stared at it with apprehension, then took it, knowing there was no way out of the newlywed's first dance. They moved to the center of the room and Brienne tried not to think about how many people were watching her make a fool of herself right now. Jaime's hand came up and grabbed hers and his golden stump came around her waist, drawing her in close but still at an acceptable distance. Together they moved to the rhythm of the traditional wedding music of the Andals. She felt his eyes on hers but she kept her gaze ahead at some distant point behind his head.

"You move quite well wench, is this your first time dancing?" Jaime inquired, practically purring in her ear. His proximity and usage of her accursed nickname didn't bother her for once as she was overcome with the memory of her coming out ball, all those years ago, dancing with Renly.

"Well, I have before, when I was younger with Lord Renly," Brienne revealed with small smile, lost in one of the few good memories of her youth. Jaime let out a small scoff and an eye roll but he bit back a comment.

Soon after the first song ended and as much as Brienne wanted to go sit back down, they had to stay and dance as other couples got up to join them. Lord Tywin and Queen Cersei waltzed onto the floor and so did Lord Tyrion and Sansa. They did the usual steps and spins and after Brienne came out a spin, she momentarily locked eyes with Her Grace. It was so quick that she could've imagined it but when she looked behind Jaime's head, Cersei's eyes glared right at her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided on a whim that I should end this chapter as a “to be continued” since the wait between chapters was getting a bit too long and so was the growing word count. Part 2 of the wedding chapter will be written and uploaded very soon!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest and of the wedding and the "bedding".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the wedding! But first, a very special thank you to Cami for helping me beta read this chapter and the past five or so chapters. And thank to those who have stuck with this story from the beginning!

Jaime watched as Brienne's face twisted into a mix of shock and confusion as she stared at something over his shoulder. He turned around quickly, ready to defend his wife but he saw nothing but his sister's golden curls twirling as she danced with Lord Tywin.

"What?" Jaime asked her and she brought her gaze back to his and after a moment, shook her head emphatically. Just then, the music shifted into a jollier tone and Tyrion took his leave of Sansa and so did Cersei with their father. Fearing what the illborn King would do around her, Jaime quickly bowed to Brienne, who curtsied carefully in turn, and made his way to his good-sister. Sansa's apparent indifference did not change when Jaime came to rescue but he saw a sliver of gratitude in her Tully blue eyes. Brienne was brave enough to endure his father for one dance, but he could not let Joffrey bother this girl any longer.

"How are you enjoying my wedding, my lady?" Jaime inquired and observed her. She looked like Lady Catelyn, not just in physical appearance, but in the way that her naked grief was etched onto her face.

"It is quite a pleasant affair, my lord," Sansa replied, though her words sounded dull and rehearsed. _She has gone away inside,_ Jaime realized, recognizing his foremost coping tactic up close and personal.

Jaime waited a little bit before trying again. "Did you know that I was introduced to Lady Brienne because of your mother?" _Granted, I was sitting hostage in my own dirt and grime but all stories begin somewhere._ "Brienne was her sworn sword and I know that she would very much like to speak to you. Would you like that?"

He could see Sansa's interest had been piqued with his words and she met his eyes with a newfound curiosity. "I would, if my lord doesn't mind..."

"Of course I don't mind, I am your good-brother and Brienne is your good-sister, you need not ask for my permission," Jaime gently chided her, wanting to put her at ease in his own special way. 

The song finally ended and thus ended the usual traditional need for the bride and groom to dance the first three dances. Jaime took his leave of Sansa and saw his wife eagerly leave the grasp of Lord Tywin. They returned to their spot at the head of the table and Jaime fought the overwhelming desire to take Brienne's hand in his own, just like he did at the dinner they shared with Roose Bolton, all those weeks ago. What would she do if he did so, right now? Would she snatch her hand away in disgust or let him continue this mummer's play of a wedding and act the roles of happy, besotted newlyweds? Was the latter the reason why Brienne didn't pull away from his kiss at the altar? Jaime could've spent all night theorizing but he noticed the queue of family members standing in front of them, ready to give them well wishes, so he stored his thoughts away for later and focused his attention on Tyrion and Sansa.

"My lady," Tyrion accosted Brienne with an outstretched palm, in which Brienne hesitantly laid her hand in for him to chastely kiss. "I know first hand how sudden an arrangement like this can seem but from what I know and can infer about you, I'd say you're going to be just fine. Believe me when I say that Jaime is the best protector one can ask for. You have my brother Jaime to lean on but more importantly, he has you in turn."

Brienne's face was indecipherable but after a pregnant pause she solemnly nods in response. "Thank you for that Lord Tyrion and for welcoming me into your family."

"Congratulations on your nuptials, Lady Brienne and Ser Jaime," Sansa voiced, looking at Brienne only. "While we were dancing, your husband mentioned to me that you were my mother's sworn sword before and that you would like to discuss something with me?"

Clearly astounded, Brienne met Jaime's gaze with wide eyes and she turned back to her younger good-sister with an enthusiastic nod. "Well, he was very kind to approach you first tonight. Perhaps sometime this week we can meet somewhere private and talk about certain things of importance?"

"Yes, and I'm sure the first certain important thing discussed will be why you abandoned my mother in her time of need when she was butchered by her enemies," Sansa venomously lashed out suddenly in a low voice and stalked back to her seat at the table adjacent to them. Jaime felt an icy wave wash over him and he chanced a glance over to Brienne, her earnestness dying immediately and her face grew red with obvious embarrassment. This was one of Jaime's few fears for today to come to life, Brienne getting needlessly humiliated on her wedding day, and it came at her in the most unexpected form.

Tyrion gaped after his wife then looked back at them in surprise. "I-- I am so sorry about that, my wife is still grieving, please forgive her for any lapses in decorum. Congratulations again," he stammered out then hastily walked away as fast as he could.

They got no true reprieve for Brienne's father was next to bless them. Selwyn glanced at his daughter first, who only stared hard at the table and then at Jaime and sighed. "I can see that now is not the time, so I will spare you my presence for the time being. Have a good night, Brienne, Ser Jaime." With that, he lumbered away but not without giving Brienne a feeble smile. 

Next in line came Cersei and Jaime fought the urge to groan aloud. He instinctively grabbed Brienne's hand tight and straightened up in his seat, ready to take whatever bullshit his sister threw at them and throw it right back at her. Jaime couldn't help but glare at her, for whenever he looked upon her, he was immediately greeted with the abhorrent image of her and his scrawny cousin Lancel rutting. She observed them both with obvious disdain and a wine glass in hand.

"Lady Brienne, brother, "Cersei greeted them coolly. "Congratulations on making it as Lady Lannister of Casterly Rock. And to think, all it took was for you to debase yourself in the eyes of the entire court. Only the gods know how an ugly, unladylike whore such as yourself seduced my brother and-" before she could continue, Lord Tywin appeared from out of nowhere next to her side and stopped the queen's burgeoning tirade with a firm grip on her upper arm.

"You forget yourself, _daughter_ ," Tywin reprimanded her with a hard edge to his voice and glare. "And you've clearly had too much to drink. Jaime, you and Lady Brienne should take your leave now whilst the revelry is high. I will see you both tomorrow at midday for the King's wedding." His father strode away, with a now vexed Cersei in tow.

Together, they split up and Brienne went over to her father while Jaime engaged Olenna and Macy Tyrell in a short conversation. Within a few minutes of each other, they were able to sneak out of their reception, _The Bear and the Maiden Fair_ serenading the rest of the guests present.

* * *

The first thing Jaime noticed when they entered his room was the trunk of Brienne's clothes moved to the right side of the bed, the side in which he sleeps on. He quickly decided not to rock the boat any further tonight and just sleep on the left side before his wife became over exasperated. Until tonight, they had never slept in the same before, only sleeping near each other when on the road to King's Landing, watching each other's back from shifty Bolton men, so this was yet another test for Jaime in keeping himself and other extremities reined in.

Jaime quickly walked over to the writing desk in the corner. Sat atop it was something he knew would hopefully placate Brienne after everything that happened today.

"Brienne, I need you to take a look at this," he called after his wife, who was still lingering in the doorway as if to flee. "Close the door and come here."

She closed and barred the door and gingerly made her way over to him. "What is it?"

"This," Jaime began, and picked up the drawing, "is reparations. I haven't gone to the armorer yet to order it but this is what I hoped you'd be wearing when you safely saw Sansa back to her family."

He handed her the sketch of the blue armor and she took it and held it in her big hands, almost reverently. "As soon as I came back here, I had these drawn up and eventually I'd have given you the actual armor to help you with your oath. But, in true _Jaime Lannister_ fashion, things didn't go according to plan and we somehow ended up here. However, after the King's wedding tomorrow, we'll be free to take our leave to Casterly Rock and I intend to ask father for Tyrion and Sansa to come with us. I know she'd be much more relieved to be away from my sister and her son and you'd be more able to protect her over there than here."

Brienne was speechless, her gaze softening and flitting back from his to the paper in front of her. "I... thank you, Ser Jaime. I shall cherish this and acknowledge your commitment to keeping the oath we're both bound by."

Jaime gave a humble half-smile as he took the drawing back from her. _Always so polite, my blushing bride_. He watched as she walked over to her side of bed and with her back turned, began to undress. Eyes hastily turning away, he felt his blood warm and threaten to color his cheeks. No, he already made such a gaudy show of his lust at the altar during the wedding, now was not the time for such things. The memory of her tongue sliding against his, his stump pressing her body close into his, overcame him as he reached up to start yanking the laces of his doublet off. 

"Uh- Jaime?" Brienne's tentative voice brought his eyes back to her and he immediately struggled not to gape at her. She was out of her dress and undressed to her corset and smallclothes, hands reaching back to the laces. "Can you help me with this?"

His tongue went numb and his feet turned to lead but he managed to cross the room to Brienne. Up close, he noticed her freckled shoulders break out into goosebumps at his proximity. Brienne's back was ram-rod straight and she stared straight ahead at the wall in front of her. He took into account the mess she made her laces into and with a gulp started to untangle them for her. It didn't help him whenever he tugged hard on them, her breath hitched in a way that he shouldn't have found appealing at all. Jaime worked quicker and finally unknotted it, stepping back from her and turning away.

"Thank you," Brienne said and he only grunted in response. Jaime tugged off both doublet and tunic, remembering his affinity for sleeping shirtless and turned to see her walking behind him to change behind the privacy screen. He removed his fancy breeches and replaced them with simple sleeping pants. She then re-emerged dressed in a shift, similarly worn by her from the day they came together in Pycelle's office. She avoided his gaze and moved to her side of the bed, so Jaime did the same, but not before blowing out the remaining candles in their room. It was a big and spacious bed, but they both long-legged, thus there was only so much space between them. 

"Well..." Jaime started, hoping to put her at ease once more. "Today wasn't so bad. The ceremony went off without a hitch... but I'm really sorry about what Cersei said to you just now."  
  


"It's fine," Brienne automatically replied. His heart sank a little, thinking about all of the cruel things that have been said to her before, and even Jaime himself wasn't exempt in that matter.

"Regardless, you looked lovely and Donyse did a great job on the dress," he changed the subject abruptly. She shrugged and gave a halfhearted nod before climbing into bed. "Do you not agree? I suppose dresses aren't your preferred attire-"

"It's not that," Brienne clarified and cut him off. "It's just- when you've been repeatedly mocked and scorned for failing at being a lady, you don't get the luxury of enjoying pretty gowns all the time. I can appreciate the finer garments made for my sex but I know what I look like and I know my shortcomings."

Jaime clamped his mouth shut after having it agape for some time. That was the first time in their entire acquaintance together Brienne had cut him off, and one of the longest sentences he had ever heard her speak to him. Her sapphire eyes flitted from his to a distant point behind him before turning her back to him, lying sideways and effectively cutting off communication.

"Good night Brienne," he managed to say, and laid down in bed next to her, turning over on his side and tried his hardest to go to sleep. Eventually, exhaustion overtook him and he felt him relax as he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The sensation of sunlight shining in her face woke Brienne from her deep sleep. Feeling the need to stretch her limbs, she first cracked an eye open and became aware of her newfound sleeping position. Somehow, while they had both been asleep, they both rolled around to face each other, their legs intertwined, Brienne's face only a half an arm's length away from his. His hand lay near hers while her right hand held onto his stump. A blush crept up on her cheeks as she realized how intimate and close their position was. Before she could pull away however, she saw Jaime wince then sigh. His leg brushed hers up and down slowly and finally his eyes opened. 

"Good morning," Jaime rasped out, his voice hoarse from not using it all night. He made no effort to pull away from her, only stared at her with that same tender, unguarded look. She was about to greet him in return, the words just on the tip of her tongue when she felt her stomach rolling with nausea, and the overwhelming need to upchuck immediately. Brienne's hand came up to cover her mouth as she scrambled out of bed, rushed over to the chamber pot behind the privacy screen and expelled the morning sickness from her body. She gagged and spit then it finally ended, leaving a horrible taste in her mouth and her embarrassment palpable in the air. Wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shift, she stood and slowly came around the screen.

Brienne met Jaime's gaze, and they stared at each other silently, the biggest implication that their lives would be forever changed now out in the open, finally confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with that concludes Part 1 of The Waiting Place! These last few chapters have had me on edge because I've been afraid that my story has lost its luster for some of you so I'm just ready to advance the plot of this and look forward to the future of this fic. And I must apologize for my late updates, life just gets in the way sometimes but I'll try to speed up the pace in the coming chapters. Next chapter is Joffrey's wedding and all of it canon elements. Thank you again for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne experiences the royal wedding as the newest member of the King's family. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Millie, Cami, Raine and Ally, thank you so much to my close friends who have all supported me one way or another in the feedback and response in this story!

"Lady Brienne, I'd have never thought you would clean up so well. But of course, you look as radiant as you did yesterday for your wedding," Olenna Tyrell accosted her as she approached their table. Brienne gave a small smile and let her continue. "Quite a sudden arrangement but I'm sure when the heart wants what it wants, why deny it so resentfully? And I've just spoken to your father Lord Selwyn so I'm sure he's eager for you to give him strong grandsons." 

The shrewd, knowing look she gave Brienne almost made her blush rise but she acquiesced with a curt nod. "Just so." Olenna seemed satisfied with her reply with one grey eyebrow raised and turned her attention to Sansa.

"You look exquisite, child," Olenna said to her. "The wind has been at you though. I haven't had the opportunity to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your brother. War is war, but killing a man at a wedding, horrid. What sort of monster would do such a thing? As if men need more reasons to fear marriage." Brienne quite liked the Tyrell matriarch but she knew her bringing up the Starks demise did the girl no such favors to her mourning psyche. 

Just then, Tyrion came up to the table with Jaime in tow, sitting in between the vacant seats. Olenna tottered off to go eat and the rest of the wedding went on in an almost comfortable way. That was until, the King so gleefully brought out the prime entertainment.

The dwarves mummer's farce played out in front of Brienne and she nearly vomited at the sight of the mockery of Renly. She balled a fist full of her dress in her lap and she looked away from the laughing crowd of nobles to her nearly full plate in front her. She hadn't had much of an appetite since this morning, only managing to eat a few bites when breaking her fast and again during the King's wedding reception. Brienne looked to her right and saw Jaime's jaw clench as he watched the indecent re-enactment of the War of the Five Kings. She looked to her left and saw the displeased look on Tyrion's face yet Sansa remained as stony faced as ever. The only people not enjoying the dwarvish revelry as far as Brienne could see was Lord Varys and her lord father Selwyn, both sporting vaguely uncomfortable expressions. _All this decadence and extravagance is sickening,_ Brienne thought she hazily heard the King announce something in the background. _The sooner we leave for Casterly Rock, the better._ Brienne realized that the thought of such surprised her.

"One taste of combat was enough for me, Your Grace," Tyrion declared as he stood from his chair. "I would like to keep what remains of my face. I think you should fight him. This was but a poor imitation of your own bravery on the field of battle. I speak as a firsthand witness. Climb down from the high table with your new Valyrian sword and show everyone how a true king wins his throne. Be careful, though. This one is clearly mad with lust. It would be a tragedy for the King to lose his virtue hours before his wedding night."

Light laughter rang out across the amphitheater but Brienne sensed the tension increase tenfold with her good-brothers bold words. She watched with bated breath as Joffrey meandered over to their table with a wine goblet in hand. He poured his wine over Tyrion's head and Brienne felt a few droplets of it splash onto her dress. While she admired his verbal bravery, Brienne surmised that it was surely mistimed and could only thank the gods that she wasn't the source of the king's ire. Margaery tried to call him back to her but he and Tyrion went back and forth until he conceded to being his cup-bearer. Sansa handed the King's goblet to her husband and she noticed the thankful look he gave her before returning back to him.

"Look, the pie!" Margaery announced cheerfully, breaking the tight strain around them and Joffrey struck the large baked good with his sword, releasing the doves inside and charming all the guests present.

As the servants passed out slices of pie, Brienne heard Sansa ask Tyrion if they could leave then and he replied, "Let's find out." Brienne turned to Jaime with pleading eyes, ready to ask the same. However before they could leave, Joffrey called his uncle back and demanded him to serve him some wine to wash down his pie. Tyrion did as ordered but the King began to cough unexpectedly, struggling with his words then his coughs quickly turned into gasps of breaths. Queen Margaery and Lady Olenna cried out to help him and Cersei and Jaime stood up to help him.

Movement from the corner of her eye distracted Brienne away from the dreadful scene of the dying king and she watched as the King's fool appeared by Sansa's side and tugged urgently at her arm. Brienne stood up, glanced to the purple faced and convulsing Joffrey but refocused her attention on her good-sister, taking steps towards her. The fool quickly pulled her along, running out of the venue and Brienne lost her chance to go after them. The cries and wails from Cersei and the crowd brought her attention back and she watched as Cersei had Tyrion arrested for the murder. 

"Where is his wife? Where's Sansa?" Cersei seethed and Jaime finally looked up at Brienne with wide eyes, and strode towards her.

"Find her. Bar the gates of the city. Seize every ship in the harbor. No one leaves the capital! No one!" Tywin barked out the orders to the Gold Cloaks who moved swiftly to enact them.

What do you say to your husband when his illegitimate son has just died right in front of him? An apology was on the tip of her tongue but Brienne instead found herself frantically whispering to Jaime, "Sansa- she's gone. I have to go after her."

Jaime shook his head ardently and whispered after her, "No, Brienne, you can't. They will find her but you cannot do anything rash right now. Cersei will think you're involved in this too. Please... " Every single nerve inside her in that moment yearned to search for Sansa but something in his expression made Brienne stay. She begrudgingly accepted that he had a point and decided not to fight him about it right now. 

Tywin coaxed Cersei away from the body so that Maester Pycelle examined the body and her wild, grief struck eyes met hers. Jaime moved in between them, straightening his body in a somewhat protective stance. What followed next had the slow procession of the guests exiting the amphitheater and the only people remaining were the Tyrells, Lannisters, the Grand Maester and Lord Varys. Margaery's tear filled eyes stayed on Joffrey as a cloak was put over the body and was lifted out by the Lord Commander Ser Arys Oakheart. A now despondent Cersei walked beside him and the rest of the two families trailed off behind her as they made the slow march back to the Keep.

Brienne felt tired and wanted to crawl back in their featherbed in Maegor's Holdfast but before she could, a Lannister guard accosted her and Jaime, telling them that their presence was required by Lord Tywin in the Tower of the Hand. When they reached, Tywin was waiting for them and strangely enough so was Prince Tommen and her father Selwyn.

"Come in and sit down," Tywin ordered harshly and they did just that, Brienne sitting in the middle between Jaime and Selwyn. An ashen faced Tommen stood beside his grandfather.

"Someone poisoned Joffrey. Cersei has arrested Tyrion for it but that doesn't rule out the possibility that he didn't work alone, so-" Tywin began but an incensed Jaime cut him off.

"What, so you're going to accuse Brienne and Lord Selwyn as if they had something to do with it? They are just as blameless as Tyrion is in this!" Jaime snapped at his father, who only pursued his lips in reply. 

"I'm not accusing them of the crime, I'm saying that your sister will pull out all stops to try and see Tyrion's conviction through and will try to make base allegations in order to strengthen her claims," Tywin corrected him. "Suppose she thinks the former sword of our enemies the Starks, who just now conveniently married into her family, wanted to see revenge for what happened at the Twins and conspired with the King's uncle to enact this plan? Suppose she thinks Brienne's father, a former bannerman of the unruly Renly has come here as backup for their plans? Do you see what I'm getting at now?"

She tried not to let her outrage show on her face, but failed anyways. "Let me assure you my Lord Hand, me nor my father had absolutely nothing to do with this plot against King Joffrey's life. War is war and the Starks were outplayed and although I grieve my former liege, I would've never dared to conspire harm against my lawful nephew and King by rights." The words tasted bitter on her tongue but she forced them out all the same. Jaime gaped at her then turned back to look at his father.

"So what happens now?" Jaime asked restlessly, bouncing his leg beside hers. "I would've liked for us to be excused to the Rock after the wedding but I'm assuming now that won't be the case."

Tywin pressed his lips together in annoyance and replied, "No, it's best you and your wife stay here, at least until the trial ends. We will not give the court and the judges anything to suspect. Lady Brienne will keep her head down around the castle whilst adhering to a visible daily routine. Lord Selwyn, would it be too much to ask for you to stay here in the Keep as well?"

Selwyn sighed heavily and nodded a moment. "No, but I'll take my leave for Tarth when the trial ends." He said it as a statement and not a question and Tywin obliged with a slight tilt of his head.

"What about Lady Sansa?" Brienne blurted out, capturing the attention of every man in the room. She practically itched to jump in motion and take her leave, grab some chain mail and sword from the castle armorer and go out to search for her good-sister herself. "Will any Lannister soldiers go out searching for her?"

"I had the City Watch shut down every gate in and out of the city and to keep their eyes out for a highborn lady of four-and-ten trying to leave. She couldn't have gone far but if she isn't found by this time tomorrow, then I'd have no choice but to label her a fugitive of the crown. As a wife to the accused, she's automatically a suspect."

Again, Brienne felt her indignation rise but it was Jaime who lashed out first. "This is ridiculous and you know it! Tyrion would have never done such a thing and yet, you've allowed him to be carted off without even having him speak for himself. Granted, he and Joffrey didn't have the best relationship, but that doesn't mean he'd poison him at his own wedding! Tyrion is your son too and deserves to be treated as such." 

Jaime stood suddenly, grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room along with him. She quickly shot her father what she hoped was an apologetic look as they left Tywin's office. The walk to their room was silent and tense but the sight of it was a welcoming one. She sank into the edge of the bed with a sigh and glanced at Jaime as he came to a stop in the middle of the room and stared at the wall facing away from her. 

"I'm sorry about today," Brienne said slowly, purposefully leaving her statement vague. Jaime let out a sound, a short dry laugh perhaps and buried his face into his hands. 

He carefully raised his head. "Tyrion didn't poison him, I don't know who could've done it, but I know it wasn't him. Cersei is...." Jaime paused, searching his mind for the right adjective, "disturbed. She's always hated him and I've just turned a blind eye to it. Somehow, I fear this my fault."

"No, it's not your fault," Brienne replied automatically. "She could've just been upset and judged him guilty too quickly." Even as she said them, the words rang out with uncertainly. "Maybe with some persuasion, she'll come around...." 

Her husband turned around and shrugged as he met her gaze. "I doubt I'm the person she wants to see right now but... it wouldn't hurt to try. That is, of course, if you didn't mind if I did?"

Brienne's brow furrowed as she processed what Jaime was asking her. There have been so many moments, including right now, in which Brienne wanted to crack open Jaime's head, just to see what was going on in that mind of his. Why would _he_ ask her if she didn't mind him going to talk to his sister? Did he think... that she would assume that Jaime and his sister will still see each other on the side? He hadn't given her any indication that he would but the wills of men are secrets only known to themselves. There was still so much left unsaid between the two. _Maybe it's better off that way..._ Brienne shook her head of the endless thoughts and brought her eyes down.

"Why would I mind? I think you should do what's best," Brienne said, and after a second added, "I know you will."

Jaime gave her a long, enigmatic look. "Thanks for the support." His words came out gruffer than intended. "I'll leave you to take your rest." With that, he walked out of their room, leaving Brienne alone to contemplate all of today's mysteries and cryptic coming events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Tyrion's trial and more hurdles for our couple to jump through. They definitely won't have a reprieve for a very long time, in the next coming chapters. Thanks for reading again!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which revelations are made, truths are revealed and arguments are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! I'm not gonna lie to yall, this was by far the hardest chapter I've had to write thus far and well... you'll see why below.

Over the next few hectic days, Jaime kept a close eye on Brienne. On the day of Joffrey's wake and burial in the Sept of Baelor, Brienne started it by harshly vomiting in their chamber pot and was almost invariably tired by the afternoon. Her timid handmaiden Elana tried to help her eat but Brienne's appetite shrank with most foods, which led to the girl bringing a few dishes for Brienne to sample at every meal. This pattern continued in the following days of Tommen's coronation and the first day of Tyrion's mummer's farce of a trial. 

He also noticed that she had drawn into herself somehow, only speaking to him when necessary and making herself scarce whenever there was free time to be had. Jaime so desperately wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her and be there for her in the way a good husband would be to his wife, but something always stopped him. Would Brienne let down her carefully maintained guard to allow that? He knows that she doesn't love him, and probably never will, but that doesn't mean that they couldn't maintain their delicate friendship within their marriage. Brienne was carrying his babes and while Jaime knew that pregnancy was a woman's ordeal in life, he wanted to bear her burdens with her.

The hour long training sessions with the crass sellsword Tyrion found for him were beyond frustrating- mostly on account of him painstakingly relearning just how to hold a sword in his left hand- yet it distracted him from all the stress going on. On his way back to the castle, Jaime felt himself being trailed, sensing the light footsteps behind him and slowed down to a stop. He whirled around and found himself alone yet when he turned back around, Lord Varys was standing right in front him. Jaime stopped his stride mid-step for the eunuch was only an arm's length away from him. 

"Ser Jaime," Varys greeted him in that ambiguous, almost effeminate way of his. 

"Lord Varys," Jaime replied, tensing up in preparation for what the Master of Whisperers want with him. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I'm afraid it's the opposite," Varys said with a ghost of a smile. "Why don't you walk with me for a while?" Jaime exhaled a long breath and obliged him, walking at an even pace with the eunuch around the gardens surrounding the castle.

"This won't take long. Normally, I would be unwilling to pass along this type of information for I have no particular affinity towards your family, save for Lord Tyrion, so in a way, he is my reason for doing this," Lord Varys began and Jaime gave him shifty a side glance. Varys ignored the look and continued. "Ever since the day it happened, I've always known of what happened between you and your wife Lady Brienne in Pycelle's office. Quite a peculiar situation, especially considering the fact that the concoction wasn't meant for her."

"Meant for? How do you mean?" Jaime asked confusedly.

Varys gave him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow. "Your father was quite adamant that your brother's marriage to Lady Sansa be consummated and became incensed at their defiance to duty. I am unclear whether he approached Grand Maester Pycelle first or vice versa, but once he came to learn of the potion's existence, sooner or later it would've found its way into Lady Sansa's nighttime tea. The fact that Lady Brienne discovered upon it first and you were subsequently released from the Kingsguard to save her, resulted in his desired grandchildren, only this time sired from his favored heir." Jaime's shock at the revelation didn't even begin to register within him before Varys began again. "But then again, that's if the queen has anything to say about it...."

"What is it? Is Brienne in trouble?" Jaime asked hurriedly, the eunuch's off-putting words making him anxious.

"My little birds have come to learn that your sister has recently acquired moon tea from Pycelle," Varys paused to let Jaime absorb what he was saying. Cersei, with moon tea? Jaime knew that Lancel had left the city to recuperate from his injuries gained from the Battle of the Blackwater, so Jaime wondered who was the unlucky green boy his sister had sunk her claws into this time? "Don't worry, it's not for her. She's given it to one of the many servants under her employ to covertly redistribute it to an unaware handmaiden who has close access to your wife."

Jaime's heart dropped into his stomach and his whole body froze in shock. He wasn't expecting anything like this. Disgust and anger soon replaced the shock in his system and he closed his agape mouth. "When?" It was the only word capable of coming out of him.

"Well, if Brienne didn't drink any nighttime tea last night, she's like to drink it very soon, perhaps for afternoon tea," Varys explained and Jaime nodded and started to fast walk away from him. 

Suddenly, he stopped and turned around to face him once more. "Thank you for this, Lord Varys. I am in your debt." Jaime almost missed the eunuch's slight nod of his bald head before he spun on his heel, practically running into the halls of the Red Keep.

He wasn't sure if the workout he got from Bronn earlier helped or hindered his race to his room but all he could truly focus on was making it there on time. Jaime didn't even want to think of the possibility of Brienne unknowingly drinking moon tea, not after she had made the decision not to and after they married- not even yet a fortnight ago. If he didn't make it in time-- _no, don't go there,_ Jaime stopped his dangerous train of thought right away and forced himself to walk faster, nearly sprinting now.

Finally, after what felt like a millennia later, he reached the corridor where their room was and ran the last few steps to the door. Jaime swung the door open wide and to complete his horror, he saw Brienne seated on the plush armchair with the handmaid filling up her porcelain cup with tea. Both of their heads snapped up at his loud intrusion but they could only see Jaime rush over towards them and he didn't hesitate to slap the cup of hot tea out of Brienne's hands, the drink shattering and spilling on the floor.

"What in the Seven hells is your problem?!" Brienne loudly asked at the same time as the handmaiden immediately exclaimed, "Oops! I am so sorry, excuse me m'lady, I'll have to clean that up now."

"No! You stay. Do you even know what you were about to make my lady wife drink?" Jaime demanded roughly, not taking any chances with the seemingly innocent servant. 

"... Jasmine tea, m'lord," Elana anxiously told him. He ignored Brienne's intense gaze as he picked up the handmaid's tea pot and lifted it up his nose for a smell. Underneath the saccharine sweet fragrance of jasmine, was the undeniable sour stench of tansy tea. He had picked it up enough over the years for Cersei to recognize its distinct smell anywhere. 

"I'll mistake your apparent ignorance for innocence, because you were about to unknowingly feed moon tea to my wife. I smell it clear as day under my nose," Jaime disclosed grimly. Both women gasped and looked at each other then back at Jaime. "Lord Varys just disclosed my sister's devious intentions to me so I rushed in to put a stop to it."

He gave the pot to Brienne and her handmaid so that they could both smell the truth for themselves. "You should be more careful when you interact with the other servants here from now on, for my lady wife's sake." Elana nodded emphatically in understanding. Jaime took stock of his wife's ashen face and decided to send her away with the tea, leaving the two alone.

Brienne covered her face with her hands and Jaime noticed that she was slightly trembling. Jaime didn't blame her- the weight of the situation, of what he just prevented, crashed down on him in that moment and he wearily took a seat down at the edge of the bed. If he had been just a minute or two late, she would have drank that horrible brew and the life that they created together, the life that Jaime recently realized that he cared so much for already, would've been destroyed. All because his sister was so dastardly jealous and practically unhinged.

The room was silent for quite some time, save for the call of the sea gulls outside of the castle. "I-- Please excuse me for a moment," Jaime spoke as he rose from the bed. She spared him a quick glance and nodded, knowing they both needed time to process this separately. He left the room quietly, as if to make up for his loud entrance from before.

Jaime walked around the castle aimlessly for about an hour. In that time, he almost went to pay his sweet sister a visit, but then realized that would be playing right into her hands so he decided not to. He almost went to the Tower of the Hand, to clue Tywin in on Cersei's plot he had managed to avert or confront him about the fact that he planned to use _Servus Targaeryous_ on his good-sister but decided not to, for both reasons were now null and void. The Red Keep had been quiet as of late, the usual vibrancy now subdued, probably due to the fact that their King had died at his wedding and the trial for his murder was such surrounded by such controversy. Jaime slowly circled back around to his room in Maegor's Holdfast, ready to face the tension between him and his wife.

Brienne was standing, hovering near the writing desk by the balcony, her head turned down, seemingly staring intently at the sheathed Valyrian steel sword he used to carry, now laying down on the desk. Her head snapped up at his arrival. "I've been thinking... while your valiant efforts earlier are appreciated, there was no need to have sent Elana away so harshly the way you did," Brienne said firmly, looking at him but not meeting his eyes.

His suppressed anger and frustration rose in him with her words, so confused and hurt. _She's worried about the fucking handmaid after all that just happened?_ "I did not send her away in any sort of rude manner, but you do realize she almost fed you moon tea right?"

"Yes, I realize," she curtly responds and begins to turn her stubborn back towards him.

"Oh, so you realize, but you don't care do you? The babes you carry isn't a care for you, apparently," Jaime bristled, wanting to know the truth behind her indifference. Brienne turned around with an outraged look and took a step in his direction.

"Of course I care about them! How can you just say that?" Brienne demands, her emotions flaring up too.

"Brienne, you're seemingly more worried about what my reaction to your handmaiden was then you are about the babes!" He exclaimed with a scoff. "What, do you think I don't worry about you?"

"I don't ever know what you're thinking. I never do, Jaime," Brienne replied in defeated. Suddenly, her expression slowly crumpled and he saw tears begin to form in her eyes. “It’s just— I don’t know what is going to happen, everything is happening all at once and—,” a sob choked off her sentence and Jaime rushed over to comfort her.

He tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his stomach as she backed away from him. "Brienne, please... I do worry and care for you, and I'm trying my best to protect you but-"

"Except you can't," she interrupted him, swiping a lone tear away off her cheek. "Certainly not from your sister and not from your father either. I'd hate to make you choose between the wench you married or your father and the woman you love." With that, Brienne suddenly moved past him, and left the room without even a look back at him, as he stammered out rebuttals to her claims, which went ignored.

Jaime rocked back on his heels, feeling as nauseated as Brienne was in the mornings, going to sit down in a chair. He reflected on what just happened, how Brienne just emotionally revealed her fears to him. She thought that he must resent his marriage to her and still loves Cersei. Her first claim was completely false, although their marriage was somewhat stilted, Jaime never once found himself regretting putting the Lannister cloak on her shoulders, protecting her and their coming children from scorn. But his love for Cersei... he wasn't even sure if what feels for her could even be called love anymore. If tormenting the Stark girl and Tyrion all of his life and fucking Lancel when Jaime was still captive wasn't enough, today's stunt with the disguised moon tea was the last straw. His sister was going down a path he couldn't follow and he now realized that his disillusionment with her should've come sooner. 

* * *

Brienne walked around the castle, trying not to look as distraught as she felt right then. She thought about visiting her father in his room but decided not to, just to avoid looking suspicious in the wrong eyes, as he was instructed to do. Ever since Joffrey's wedding day, Brienne's general mood had declined, as she was plagued with overwhelming morning sickness and fatigue with no end in sight. She had purposefully distanced herself from Jaime so he wouldn't have to see her like this but today's incident was the breaking point for her. To think, she had almost unknowingly drunk moon tea because of Cersei's interference! It shook her to her core, upsetting her and the cumulative stress made her lash out everything's she's been holding in at Jaime. 

Truth be told, Brienne was sick and tired, of being sick and tired yes, but of this place, of her situation and of their circumstance. She was only one moon's turn pregnant and was ready for the babes to be birthed already, thinking often to herself how other ladies did this more than once. Her good-brother's trial seemingly made her and everyone tense in anticipation or anxiety, depending on how they viewed it. Unfortunately, Sansa was never found and Brienne often laid awake long into the night wondering what became of the poor girl. Where could the king's fool have pulled her off to, an idyllic safe haven free from lions or to somewhere even more perilous than here, a place a girl of four-and-ten had no chance of surviving in. Brienne couldn't help but think mostly about the latter.

Looking down to her palm, she held the sketch of blue armor Jaime made tightly. An idea came in her head then, a far-fetched and potentially dangerous, yet plausible idea. She made her way down flights of stairs, all the way down to the castle forge and armorer. Brienne didn't find it very fair that her good-father couldn't even spare any men to go out to search for Sansa, to bring her back here if not to save her from the dangers on the road, so why not take matters in her own hands? In truth, it was a folly half-thought out plan, but Brienne's knew intrinsically that it was the right thing to do. The only real obstacle in her way was her lord husband, and Brienne knew that Jaime could help or hinder her, and only time could tell....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with the reveal of Sansa being the original target for the potion (yes, Tywin lied to Jaime), I'd recommend you all go back to re-read chapter 2 and 5 just to fully understand the bigger picture. I am incredibly anxious about this chapter because of its subject matter and what it's setting up, please let me know how you liked it in the comments!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days after their argument, Brienne undergoes several important changes and conversations.
> 
> **Chapter TW/Trigger warning for a presumptive miscarriage**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... long time, no see huh? Yes this story is officially off hiatus, as of right now. After the last chapter, I had struggled a lot with my plot and whether or not it was even worth writing and that lead me down a path of self-doubt which truth be told, I'm not fully out of yet but I'm just happy to be back to doing what I love. Since it's been 3 months since the last update, I would strongly suggest going to back read the last two chapters (and chapter 6 specifically) just to reorient yourselves with the story again. This chapter is dedicated to Millie and Cami, because without them I would've given up on this a long time ago.

The sight of her father's white-blond head approaching their spot in the gardens made Brienne perk up, finally being saved from the incredibly dull tea time with the ladies of House Tyrell. Selwyn walked in confidently, capturing the attention of everyone in attendance and their chatter ceased, all but Brienne shocked at the sheer size of him. 

"My ladies, Your Grace, please pardon me for my intrusion," Selwyn said as he bowed, greeting them all. "I've just come to retrieve my daughter and escort her back to the Keep." Brienne stood when she was mentioned and gave them an apologetic half smile.

"Unfortunately for my granddaughter, she's not to be addressed as _Your Grace_ yet, as she has yet to bed a King," Olenna shrewdly corrected him with a slight frown. "If the Seven are fair and just as they claim to be, they'll take mercy on her and see her wedded and bedded to Tommen within the next fortnight."

Megga, Alla and Elinor all giggled in amusement but Margaery gasped. "Grandmother!" She admonished her, though a sly smirk played at her lips. "Lord Selwyn, I apologize for that comment, it's just grief can lead even the best of us into frustration though I am truly still grieving for my late King."

"It's fine, no offense taken my lady," Selwyn obliged, waving off the apology. "I pray for an imminent, safe and prosperous marriage for you and King Tommen just as my daughter has with his uncle." Brienne didn't miss the slight inflection in his voice when she heard what he said. "We'll take our leave from you now." Father and daughter both bowed to the Tyrells and left, Brienne's hand nestled in the crook of his elbow.

They strolled along the path into the castle with deliberate slowness, trying to be as conspicuous as possible to other onlookers. Brienne's grip on his arm tightened, thinking of how she could approach her proposition to her father. The Evenstar sensed her apprehension and asked, "Brienne, are you feeling alright? Is it your morning sickness again?"

She shook her head. "No, no, I feel fine father, it's just...." Brienne trailed off, asking herself if now was the time to ask. "I've been thinking about my good-sister Lady Sansa lately and I worry about what has become of her."

Selwyn sighed and shrugged. "It seemed to me that Lady Sansa clearly hated her circumstance here but she was wrong to leave, especially in that matter. I doubt she was involved in Joffrey's murder but her disappearance and testimonials presented against her implicated her husband the Imp and if she were to be found by the Lannisters, it would not go over well for her at all. That much I know."

"Yes, _if_ she is found by them," Brienne agreed with him, emphasizing the hypothetical in her statement. "Would that, it would be better if there was a gallant and honorable knight who would find and protect Sansa from those who would harm her..." She trailed off purposefully, hoping he would get the hint. 

"....If such a man exists, yes," her father replied, staring at her quizzically. 

She took a deep breath in and said, "I know he does. It's _you_ , father." Selwyn gaped at her and started shaking his head but Brienne continued. "And why not? You're a respected knight, and you'd be doing the honorable thing by going out to save a defenseless maid--"

"Brienne, your intentions are good but it really could not have come at a worse time. I am a knight yes, and I try to uphold my honor at all times, but right now, my place is here in this city with you. The Lord of Tarth must do his duty to his people and to the Stormlands first and foremost, not to go off cavorting to look for a missing highborn woman with whom he was not affiliated with. Lord Tywin also expressly forbid me from leaving the city before the your good-brother's trial finishes."

"Father, please, just try to see this from my perspective," she pleaded with him, unbreakable in her faith. "If I hadn't been felled by that horrible potion, I would've eventually sworn myself to Sansa because I swore an oath to her mother that I would see her to safety and I haven't broken faith to that oath. I thought perhaps, as my father and as a sworn knight, you could be one to fulfill this task in my stead."

Selwyn stopped in his tracks, forcing Brienne to stop as well, looking up to his stern face. "Brienne, I need you to listen to me well and truly, for I will not repeat myself again. I know how much your oaths mean a great deal to you but you must not forsake your foremost and most recent oath, that being the one you swore in holy matrimony to Ser Jaime. You served Renly and Lady Stark to the best of your ability but you are a wife now, and an expecting one at that. As Lady Lannister, you can't just walk out of the lion's den you so freely joined. There is nothing you can do for the Stark girls now, and there's nothing in my power that I can do for them either. They are as good as lost to the world." He saw the look of devastation on her face and quickly added, "Try not to think of it as you purposefully breaking your oath, but as the fact that is out of your hands now."

Disappointment swelled up inside Brienne as she heard her father's advice. While she knew that Selwyn cared about her and respected her knightly endeavors, she was also very disappointed in his uncharacteristic pessimistic point of view. Brienne could only shake her head at him mutely, walking away from him, not caring that she left him behind. On her way back to her room, ignoring the unusual cramps in her stomach, she once again mentally compared the advantages and potential drawbacks of her plan.

The most important question she had to ask herself was the possibility of Sansa even being alive. Brienne had only met the girl twice and while she seemed capable and willful, the world was not kind to defenseless young women, a sentiment Brienne knew only too well. No, going forward there would be no room for her to doubt, so she could only assume that she was still alive. The next complication, one that was growing every day, was her pregnancy. She would not risk the babes developing in her body, and if she were a more selfish person she would consume moon tea before setting out on this perilous mission. But that wasn't a possibility either, she would not deceive Jaime with such a malicious act... besides, the chance to have terminated her pregnancy had already passed, before she accepted Lord Tywin's proposal. It was a dishonorable and cowardly way out and Brienne knew Jaime would've never forgiven her. The distressing thought of her being heavily pregnant, alone on the road, months of searching past with no end in sight made her uncomfortable but she brushed that worry aside for now.

Of course, then she'd have to worry about sneaking out of the castle and facing the consequences of her actions if she were to return with or without Lady Sansa. Lord Tywin was not one to be trifled with, he might have her marriage to Jaime annulled if she were to run away or even worse, send men after her to deal with her treason. A slightly rosy vision came over, one of her and Jaime both approaching his father for permission to go out and search for their good-sister. It was an optimistic possibility and Brienne wasn't very keen on traveling alone on the Kingsroad again. Perhaps she could leave subtle hints to Jaime later and he'd catch on and agree to her mission. 

Jaime wasn't in the room when she got back. _Probably off visiting his brother in the dungeons again_. She had a little time to herself before Elana left Megga's employ to come check on her, might as well spend it leisurely. Brienne went to the balcony and looked over to the Blackwater, fewer ships in the harbor now than from before Joffrey's wedding. If she closed her eyes and listened to the call of the seagulls and the sound of the waves crashing on the surf, focusing on the salty sea air and not the stench of the city, she could imagine that she was back at her favorite cliff, adjacent to Evenfall Hall on Tarth. She missed home more than she ever expected to and at the crossroads of yet another big, potentially life-changing decision, she wondered if she would ever see it again.

Sighing heavily, she felt turned away from the balcony as she felt the pressing need to make water. _I've seen more of this chamber pot in a day than I have of my own husband lately,_ Brienne thought dourly as she approached it, hiking up her dresses skirt, pulled down her smallclothes and squatted. Head tilted back, she closed her eyes and when she was done, her eyes opened, horrified to see what lay before on her smallclothes. Blood. Red, thick moonblood. Brienne stood and gaped, unsure of what to do. She recalled what Pycelle told her, when he examined after her coupling with Jaime, how he said her moonblood would cease when in the months that she were pregnant. Brienne didn't know what or how much that general rule applied to her so her panic rose. Unless... this wasn't the beginning of her moonblood.... there was another likely reason why she was bleeding, though it didn't comfort her at all.

Just then, she heard the door open and Brienne hastily pulled up her smallclothes and dropped her dress, unprepared to face Jaime. She walked around the privacy screen and was surprised to see Elana, standing there unsuspectingly. 

"Good afternoon m'lady," Elana greeted cheerfully, unaware of Brienne's mood. "I have some of your freshly laundered dresses so if you'll give me a moment with these, I'll go get your mid-day meal--"

"I'm pregnant," Brienne interrupted her anxiously. The handmaid's visible shock quickly morphed into an elated yet still confused smile. 

"Congratulations m'lady, you and Lord Jaime must be so happy," Elana replied quickly. Brienne shook her head, walking closer to her. When she noticed her distress, her smile fell and she asked, "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

Brienne hesitated then decided to trust her for good. "What I tell you mustn't be repeated to others, understood?" She waited until Elana nodded in agreement then she continued. "I just got my moodblood right now, but I was told by Maester Pycelle that I shouldn't get it if I'm pregnant."

"Is it a lot of blood or just spotting? When my mumma carried my younger brother, she had spotting for a few months in the beginning, so it's not unheard of," Elana told her in a conciliatory tone. 

"It's not a lot but it's definitely enough to bring about concern," Brienne relayed, her voice wavering. "And I've also had the usual moonblood cramps earlier..."

"Well... I do know that there's always a possibility that a woman can miscarry and lose the babe within the first two moons," Elana cautiously told her. "It would be no fault of you own, m'lady."

And that right there was what she was afraid of. If her freakish, mannish body failed her, as it had before in the past, then Brienne would only have herself to blame. Losing the babes would prove disastrous for her and would cause unforeseen consequences. She'd have to admit her failure to Jaime and both of their fathers as well. They'd look at her like some broken thing, not fit to do even the one thing they thought possible for her. Jaime would be crushed, his chance to actually parent a child of his this time gone just like that, that she knew for sure. And with herself... she would be undoubtedly sad as well. As reluctant as she was to verbally admit it, some small part of her, locked away inside since early adolescence, was eager at the chance of being a mother, to hold and care for a child she brought into the world. To have that dream cruelly ripped away again after allowing herself to hope against everything.... Brienne doesn't know if she would ever truly recover. It was proven that she wasn't fit to be a knight, nor a sworn sword, and now not even as a mother and a wife.

Brienne steeled herself and took a deep breath in. "Let's not jump to conclusions so soon." She thought hard for a solution then continued after a moment. "Elana, do you think you can help me with something important?"

The handmaid nodded eagerly and said, "Yes m'lady, anything."

"As discreetly as possible, you will go to a maester's office or a healers shop in the city and pretend that you are about a moon turn or so pregnant, like I am," Brienne relayed carefully. "There, you will ask for clarification if it is normal to experience bleeding when you're with child. You will describe yourself experiencing the symptoms I already told you about then you will come back here and tell me what they said. Actually, go to more than one place, as multiple opinions are probably better. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, I understand m'lady. Should I leave now? Won't others notice if I am gone..." Elana trailed off in apprehension.

"If anybody asks, I will tell them you are out running an important errand for me and you will say that too if you're approached. Now go!" Brienne urged her out of there and watched as she hurriedly left.

* * *

Not an hour had passed by after she left and Brienne was surprised to hear a knock at the door. _There's no way she was that quick,_ Brienne thought as she recalled just how big King's Landing was. Brienne called for them to enter but it wasn't Elana who came in.

The blacksmith's apprentice whom Brienne had encountered in day's past moved in slowly with the full suit of armor she had commissioned. Shocked to see that it's been finished and delivered so soon yet pleased with the finished product (it looked just as what Jaime's drew in his blueprint), she moved to greet and collect the armor but she had no time to react when she saw that Jaime was suddenly at the door too.

"Umm..." Jaime trailed off in confusion as he looked at the midnight blue armor and then at her. She noticed how he looked hot and bothered with sweated out hair and figured he had returned from his secret swordplay training. 

"You can just leave it right there, thanks," Brienne ushered the apprentice in and gestured to a spot by the privacy screen. He placed the armor down gingerly, bowed then left, leaving husband and wife alone.

"So you had the armor made?" Jaime asked after a beat and Brienne slowly met his questioning eyes. 

"Yes, I did!" Brienne replied quickly and watched as his eyebrows rose to his hairline at her perkiness. "I know I won't be using it any time soon, it's just- it was going to be made sooner or later so I took it upon myself to see it done now. It gave me something to do these past few days." It wasn't a complete lie, she had found time to sneak away to the castle armorer and paid for it in full, coming back for a fitting then to check on its progress. They had told her it would be done soon but it had completely slipped her mind with everything that's happened today.

Jaime's eyes narrowed a bit in scrutiny and Brienne met his gaze head-on. "Well, although you forgot to mention it to me, good on you for taking the initiative on it. Does it fit?"

"Of course it fits! I made sure of that," she said, almost defensively. 

He relented after proposing that she try it on for him tomorrow and called for his manservant to run him a bath. Jaime disappeared into the adjoining bath room and she slumped against the bed, feeling tired and guilty for lying to him. She could've just outright admitted her plan to him but she decided not to. What would he have said? Brienne felt a twinge in her abdomen and was reminded of her condition and the precarious situation it put her in, so perhaps it was best to not tell him now. Things had been so stagnant ever since they got married, even more so since the moon tea scare recently. If Brienne had any semblance of respect left for the Queen before, it's long gone now.

Before they settled down for bed, she changed and checked on how much she bled. She had felt that she hadn't bled in a few hours but the cramps were still lingering in her stomach. Knowing this and repressing the fact that Elana still hadn't returned yet after being gone for several hours, she managed to go to sleep. Elana didn't return until the next morning, much to Brienne's absolute horror. Jaime had woken and risen before her, off to train and Brienne feigned sleep when he left. An incensed Brienne checked her smallclothes again, finding a bit of blood there but not as much as yesterday, and that's how her wayward handmaid found her.

"M'lady! I am so sorry about my tardiness, it's just that I'm not very familiar with the city and by the time I got back to the Keep, it was already so late in the night so I thought I'd let you sleep and I would have come here soon but Lady Megga rang me early to help her get ready for the trial so I reported to her first-" Elana rushed to explain herself in one breath but Brienne interrupted her.

"Elana, it's fine! Just tell me what you've learned."

"Well, a maester and two woods witches all agreed that while it's not especially common to bleed when you're with child, combined with the stomach cramps, it may be the beginnings of you losing the child," the handmaid explained and Brienne's hopes plummeted. "But, they said it's too soon to tell. If you don't experience anymore bleeding after a day or so, it's basically a waiting game for you now to know if you're still pregnant or not."

Her last sentence should've uplifted Brienne's spirits but it only served to bring it down lower. There was no need to hope for the very slim chance that the babe will live, for she knew it would be all for naught. This only confirmed what Brienne knew to be true all along, that she wasn't fit to be a mother, that she will never get what other highborn ladies are guaranteed. Brienne felt her despair rise but only just held it back from boiling over. There would be time to mourn her and Jaime's would-be child later, but now she has to follow-through with what she's been planning, pragmatically and reasonably as always.

Brienne shook her head. "I'm no longer waiting anymore. Listen Elana, if you're not too tired from last night, later today after the trial, can you run one more errand for me...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much Jaime in this chapter, I know, but don't worry he will definitely be present in the next and following chapters. The trial I was referring in this chapter was the trial of combat between Oberyn and the Mountain, which will also be in the next chapter. As for future updates, I will try to update when I can, as I'm starting a new job soon and won't have time to write between that and my college classes. If you're worried about Jaime and Brienne's relationship here and their babies, all I can say is mind the tags! *cough cough angst with a happy ending cough cough*  
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what your think!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sword is named, a trial is held and Brienne finally makes her escape.
> 
> **Chapter TW/Trigger warning for a presumptive miscarriage**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey jb fam, I'm back with another update! Very sorry about the delay, what with college taking up a lot my time. Since it's been four months since I last updated, I strongly suggest re-reading the last chapter or two just to refamiliarize yourself with this fic. Thank you so much for reading!

Jaime returned to his rooms in the castle and saw his wife pacing back and forth, seemingly deep in thought. Brienne stopped in her tracks when she saw him enter and he offered her a tentative smile. 

"Is everything okay?" He asked, worried for her.

"Yes, everything's okay, I'm fine," Brienne replied quietly, not meeting his eyes. _She's hiding something from me,_ Jaime thought immediately but chose not to push the issue, at least for right now. He knew that Brienne's guileless eyes always held the truth within them and her innate principles of honor prevented her from lying.... at least from lying well.

"Well then, good. We'll have to go to the trial soon, so time to try on that armor now," Jaime said, remembering their conversation from the day before. He had noticed that the blueprint with the sketch of the armor went missing and assumed that she held on to it to treasure it. He wasn't mad she had it made without his knowledge but it made him all the more suspicious of her recent behavior.

Brienne nodded in agreement and said, "Let me just send for Elana."

"No no, I can help you change, let the handmaiden rest," Jaime quickly stated, aiming to makeup for his supposed bad behavior towards the handmaid. Brienne acquiesced after a moment and together they got to work. With only three hands between them, it was a bit faster dressing her in the armor. "It's a good thing you're not showing yet," Jaime commented as they buckled the chest armor on. 

"Yeah, good thing..." Brienne trailed off and didn't meet his eyes. Finally, his wife transformed into a vision of the perfect knight right he knew her to be right before his very eyes. Just as he thought, the midnight blue complemented her eyes and the red sword belt, adorned with lions, suns and half-crescent moons, represented Brienne perfectly. She may be Lady Lannister but she was the Maid of Tarth first and foremost.

"Now all you need to complete the look is a sword," Jaime remarked to her in awe. Brienne blushed slightly but her face fell at the reminder of her lost sword, the Bloody Mummers had taken it from her and they weren't able to take it back when they left Harrenhal. A bright idea suddenly popped up in his mind, something that was sure to bring out one of those rare, shy smiles she seldom granted him.

"Well, it's a good thing I have a spare Valyrian steel sword for you to carry," he said, referring to the new sword Lord Tywin has given him when he had just arrived back from the Riverlands. Jaime heard her gasp as he turned his back to her to reach for it.

"No but- I can't take this from you! This is your family's sword," Brienne feebly protested but he saw the gleam and interest in her eye as he brought it closer to her.

"You won't be taking it from me, I inherited Joffrey's sword Widows Wail so I am _giving_ this one to you. This sword was reforged from Ned Stark's sword and you, as a Stark sworn sword, will wield it accordingly," Jaime replied proudly and after a moment quietly added, ".... and you're my family too."

He avoided her gaze while he sheathed the sword into her sword belt and looked up to see his wife still staring at him intently. She remained quiet, possibly absorbing this moment between them, so he continued. "They say the best swords have names, any ideas?"

Brienne thought for a bit then met his eyes firmly and finally said, "Oathkeeper."

Jaime felt his heart beat louder and louder against his chest with what his wife had just declared. The memories of their shared bath hit him again, remembering as he proclaimed himself what he's been told most of his life, _Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, man without honor_ , how she sat opposite of him, first angry beyond words then calmer and humbled the more he spoke. They were standing so close now, close enough to touch her, to kiss her. He has initiated their first and only kiss at their wedding, for formalities at first but the passion built up between them so quickly then that he just couldn't stop. Much to his shock and delight, she reciprocated his kiss and matched his fervor. Before he could make any attempts to, however, she stepped back and looked away.

"I shall treasure and care for it always," Brienne vowed and the moment between them was broken. Mollified, Jaime turned around and crossed to his side of the room to get dressed. 

Today was the most anticipated day of all, Tyrion's trial by combat with Prince Oberyn acting as his champion facing off against Gregor Clegane, his father's soulless monster of a man. He managed to dress himself in a rich dark red doublet and dark breeches while Brienne changed in behind her privacy screen. She reemerged wearing a cardinal red modest dress at the same time he approached. Jaime put out his arm and Brienne linked her hand though the crook of his elbow. In a surprising act of affection, she gently patted his arm reassuringly.

"Prince Oberyn is an agile and robust fighter and a renowned warrior, your brother couldn't have chosen a better champion for himself," Brienne said comfortingly. Jaime met her eyes and nodded twice, although it did little to settle his nerves. While he acknowledged his wife's keen optimism, he knew the words were clearly spoken by someone who had yet to see The Mountain in action.

He led them to the door and remarked as they left, "For Tyrion's sake, let's certainly hope so."

* * *

Brimming with anxious energy, Jaime escorted them to the great outdoor amphitheater.. They had arrived early enough that Tyrion wasn't in attendance yet and late enough to see the last stragglers join the crowd. In the tented dais above sat Lord Tywin in the middle, with Cersei to the right and the Tyrells to the left. He spotted the two empty seats next to Cersei and sighed, reluctantly continuing forward to join them.

Their approach was noticed by Tywin who gave his son a sharp gaze and a slight incline of his head but spoke nothing. Cersei gave them an even sharper look, though Jaime avoided her eyes and sat between her and Brienne. The awkward tension between them was stifling but the arrivals of both Tyrion and the Mountain captured their complete attention. Jaime noticed Brienne's gaze widened in shock at the vast size of his brother's opponent, the great monster of a man who easily dwarfed her father.. Maester Pycelle began the ceremony with an introduction and a prayer to each of the Seven but Tywin impatiently gestured, cutting him off for the trial to officially commence.

Prince Oberyn swept his bastard lover into a final passionate embrace before strutting confidently into the ring, armed with only a spear. _He's not wearing a helmet_ , Jaime thought in dismay as they circled around each other before Oberyn made the first strike. They watched as the two evenly matched fighters ferociously fought each other, as shouted accusations of rape and murder rang out in between brief pauses.

"You raped her! You murdered her! You killed her children!" Oberyn angrily yelled out before moving in for another hit. Jaime's stomach lurched at the sudden remembrance of memories long repressed, of that horrific night almost twenty years ago. Of pyromancers killed, of vows broken, of his sword in Aerys' back, of the cold wolf gaze of Ned Stark, of broken unmoving babes wrapped in crimson cloaks. Jaime glanced at his father and saw that he too recalled what Oberyn referred to and judging by the look on his face, he wasn't happy about it.

Oberyn flipped and flitted around, expertly dancing around his opponent. Jaime immediately recognized his athletic prowess as the smaller but faster fighting, tiring the Mountain out before, hopefully, dealing him a fatal blow. More accusations rang out before finally, Oberyn evaded the swing of Clegane's sword and stabbed him right in the stomach. The Mountain stumbled to which Oberyn stabbed him in the calf from behind, dropping to one knee in pain. Jaime watched as the Prince of Dorne miraculously toppled Clegane with a mighty stab to the chest, to the crowd's absolute delight. He felt an incredulous look come over his face and glanced down to see it mirrored back on Tyrion's face. 

It wasn't until Oberyn began to call for the barely-alive Gregor Clegane to confess that the expression slowly fell from his face. _Don't be a fool Oberyn, just one more jab and be done with it,_ Jaime thought worriedly as Oberyn prowled around the arena and shouted, "Who gave you the order?!", pointing straight at Lord Tywin. Distracted in his emotional tirade, Oberyn failed to notice the Mountain grabbed and yanked his foot down and gave him a bloody punch that knocked out all his teeth. Jaime watched in horror as Clegane flipped him on his back and pressed his large, meaty hands into his skull and thumbs into his eyeballs.

"Elia Martell. I killed her children. Then I raped her. Then I smashed her head in like this!" Clegane declared sickeningly. At his side, Brienne winced and looked away just in time as the sickening crunch of bone was heard for miles away, blood and brain matter sprayed out, and Prince Oberyn Martell of Dorne was no more. A beat of silence passed before Tywin stood from his seat and announced that Tyrion was sentenced to die. Disgusted and in disbelief, Jaime turned his head slowly to his left and saw that Cersei's face looked just as smug as their father's tone.

Some time later, feeling as though he was walking with lead feet, he and Brienne trudged back to their apartment in the Keep. Jaime felt someone, most likely a servant, roughly brushed past him and quickly shoved parchment into his hand. He came to attention immediately and held onto the paper tightly and didn't open it until they reached their room shortly afterwards.

Jaime closed the door quickly behind them and opened his palm and read what the paper said. _Midnight. Dragon skull cellar. Come alone. Burn this. - The Spider._

"What does it say?" Brienne asked, who sat down on the bed and started to remove her slippers from her feet.

"Varys. He wants to meet with me at midnight in the crypts, likely to discuss Tyrion's fate," Jaime replied, moving towards their fireplace to follow the message's instructions. "Exile to Essos is his only possible escape." The very thought of it made Jaime's heart clench. If that were to happen, that meant that he'd never see Tyrion again, or at least he would never hope to come back to the Seven Kingdoms until Tywin and Cersei both ceased to draw breath. Ever since he was born, Jaime was Tyrion's protector, his big knightly brother, and this would hopefully be his last act in that role before never seeing him again. _Better this than seeing him beheaded for a crime he did not commit._

Behind him, Brienne was silent for a moment, than said, "Lord Tywin will be enraged."

"Screw whatever he thinks, he's going to kill my brother!" Jaime responded passionately and turned around to face him. She stared back at him, her gaze softening when it met his. "I'll not let him machinate over his children any longer." He sighed then, feeling the stress of the day's events wash over him. "Call for your handmaiden, or a servant, and tell them to bring supper. We'll eat early and I'll rest until it's time to meet the Spider."

* * *

In the quiet of the night, Brienne distantly heard the bells of the Sept of Baelor ring out seven times to signify a new day, then she felt the bed rise as Jaime got up, dressed hastily and left their apartment in the dead of night. She raised her head and caught the last glimpse of her husband from behind, waited a moment after the door closed, then rose from the bed as well. 

Her satchel was already packed, from after she sent Elana off with specific orders before the trial. Brienne dressed in her new amour, sheathed Oathkeeper and strapped it to her hip. She surveyed the room more time, taking in her marital bed and the living space she shared with Jaime for the last time. _Maybe if my body hadn't failed me and kept the babes, we could've made the best of our circumstance and become a family,_ she thought sadly. For a brief moment in time, she had put aside those fears she held and allowed herself to embrace her girlhood dreams of marriage, of love, of children but once again, that dream shatters when it was just in reach. Brienne sat down at his desk to write one short message, wiping away a lone tear when she finished. 

Brienne strode out of the room and down the hall purposefully, but stealthily enough as to avoid detection. Finally, she made her outside of the castle and walked over to the stables where she hoped to find her handmaid. Elana, the ever-so dutiful maid waited with a scarf over head, hoping not to be seen either. Brienne had given her a substantial amount of coin and ordered her to buy (or bribe) the stablemaster for a trained and saddled horse, preferably a stallion, and to go to the kitchens and pack enough non perishable food for a trip. The remaining coin was to bribe to Gold Cloaks standing guard outside the Keep to let out the lone rider after midnight with no questions asked.

"M'lady Lannister, just as you requested, although the stablemaster insisted on giving me a mare, ignored me when I said the horse wasn't meant for me," Elana greeted her and gestured to the horse in question. Brienne quickly examined the horse and nodded. The mare seemed sturdy enough and was sweet to look upon.

"She'll do," Brienne replied and attached her satchel to the saddle. She took the other satchel Elana held and attached it to the other side. "I can not thank you enough for this, Elana," she added sincerely.

The handmaid smiled and shrugged. "I do whatever m'lady requires. I don't know your reasons but this seems important to you..." Elana trailed off, seemingly thinking about what really could've been so urgent for Lady Lannister to leave unannounced in the middle of the night.

"It is," Brienne confirmed then a final thought occurred to her. "Tomorrow, there will be people asking you what happened to me, be sure to act the fool and say nothing of this. You'll only be Megga Tyrell's handmaid now, and your stint with me was brief and unexciting, understand?"

She nodded and said, "I understand. Goodbye, m'lady." 

"Farewell, Elana," Brienne murmured, and with one last look at the supportive haidmaiden from the Reach, she dug her heels into the mare's behind and took off. At the front of the castle, the Gold Cloak guards acknowledged her presence by opening the castle gates and she made her way into the city. She guided the horse down the empty streets and forwards toward the Dragon Gate, which leads north to the kingsroad. She thought back on the letter she wrote on Jaime's desk and what it read...

_I'm sorry. My body bled and it failed us, I failed you, you deserved better. I can no longer sit idly by and let my oath to Lady Catelyn stay stagnant. This is for the best. You may get the marriage annulled if you want. Tell my father that I'm sorry. Burn this. - Brienne_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about me: I write mostly listening to music and the artist/band I can really truly listen to whilst continuing to write is Tame Impala. You all have them to thank for this chapter, and previous chapters before. Show their new album _The Slow Rush_ some love.  
> I apologize again for the delay but updates definitely be more frequent after this, I can't wait to write and finish this story!! (take a look at the chapter count if you haven't already 👀)

**Author's Note:**

> I take kind in kudos and comments.  
> 


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